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Thread: So Lonely.... Please somebody talk to me.

  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Sissy View Post
    I wonder how are you feeling today? I chose to spoil myself with a cinnamonroll roll and a gigantic cup of coffee in the garden. I hope you have a better day today than yesterday. I know I do, and I know everyone deserves to feel better. I hope you have as great day as possible.
    Thanks for checking in on me. I'm a whole lot better today than I was. Talking helps. I've decided I need to take some practical steps to get out as well, so I've got a few options to consider now. But there is this unexplained deep, deep painful feeling of loneliness that engulfs me at times. I cry and it hurts because I can't breathe. It's not a panic attack, it's just that the depth of crying makes me feel sick. It's part of what wrecked my marriage as it's probably quite disturbing to watch and made it hard to handle. The phrase 'lonely even amongst people I know' applies to me at times.

  2. #22
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    I know exactly what you mean. And trying to control the crying just makes it worse. Or I find that anyway.
    Tn prdu, jhami s rcbro

  3. #23
    Oh I think I understand that feeling. I fear crying because it makes me feel I am drowning to that moment, that emotional vortex that sucks away everything I have and even am. It is terrifying. And fighting it makes things simply worse. But as empty as I feel afterwards, it somehow feels purifying as well. Or then I am just relieved I survived that emotional hell, and can finally calm down. It is funny how you know there is nothing bad or weak In crying, yet it feels like whole world would stop and stare. Hang In there. I am so happy to hear you feel better.

  4. #24
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I've some understanding of that too....

    What've you got planned for today? Anything to be kind to yourself?
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference.

  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Sissy View Post
    Oh I think I understand that feeling. I fear crying because it makes me feel I am drowning to that moment, that emotional vortex that sucks away everything I have and even am. It is terrifying. And fighting it makes things simply worse. But as empty as I feel afterwards, it somehow feels purifying as well. Or then I am just relieved I survived that emotional hell, and can finally calm down. It is funny how you know there is nothing bad or weak In crying, yet it feels like whole world would stop and stare. Hang In there. I am so happy to hear you feel better.
    Yes I shut feelings down for literally years because I couldnt face that drowning feeling. I think you described it as like drowning very well. Thats how it feels - like I am going to drown in my own tears. So when I decided to open my heart again and allow myself to feel it was overwhelming when I started to cry again. But I really dont see any alternative as I have to take the risks or Ill never grow and heal. My greatest fear is simply that people I know or get to know will be overwhelmed and put off by my moods and crankiness.

  6. #26
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    If they are, theyre not worth having in your life, lovely
    Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1 v 19

  7. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    I've some understanding of that too....

    What've you got planned for today? Anything to be kind to yourself?
    That’s an awkward one as I’ve got so behind with work due to multiple physical and mental health issues so I’m having to put in some extra hours to try to catch up. But being self employed I’m allowing myself to listen to the cricket while I work! And I’ll watch something on BBC iPlayer later

    Quote Originally Posted by Paula View Post
    If they are, they’re not worth having in your life, lovely
    Yes, I know in my head that you are right but in my heart I fear rejection so much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaquaia View Post
    I know exactly what you mean. And trying to control the crying just makes it worse. Or I find that anyway.
    In some ways I am glad I live on my own as I can cry, shout and scream!
    Last edited by Jaquaia; 24-05-18 at 01:58 PM. Reason: Please try not to double post within minutes

  8. #28
    Whatever makes you push through another day. I forgot to take my morning meds today, and because of that I have been a hot emotional mess gone hell and back. I spilled my coffee and cried for 15 minutes solid. I hate my bad days, but my kids and bf keep supporting. Today they had alot to deal with, luckily it is 7pm here and soon I can go to sleep and stop being a nightmare. People who deserve to be In your life will give you the room your emotional low points take, and will give you their time and support when you need it.

  9. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by Sissy View Post
    Whatever makes you push through another day. I forgot to take my morning meds today, and because of that I have been a hot emotional mess gone hell and back. I spilled my coffee and cried for 15 minutes solid. I hate my bad days, but my kids and bf keep supporting. Today they had alot to deal with, luckily it is 7pm here and soon I can go to sleep and stop being a nightmare. People who deserve to be In your life will give you the room your emotional low points take, and will give you their time and support when you need it.
    I have days like that. Sometimes I wish I could just skip a day and wake up tomorrow.

    I'm glad you've got supportive family. I've only recently started a new relationship and am so frightened of scaring her away. So far, so good as she didn't freak out when I told her I suffer with depression.

  10. #30
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    I've been seeing my partner for a little over 8 months now. I have it slightly easier as he also suffers with depression so understands. I often cry with him and all he says is it's important to him that I feel comfortable to show him how I'm feeling and that he would be more upset if I hid it from him amd he wasn't able to comfort me. He always tells me that I'm entitled to feel however I feel and it's ok not to be ok. The right person will do what they can to understand and support you
    Tn prdu, jhami s rcbro

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Jaquaia For This Useful Post:

    Jeremy (24-05-18),Suzi (24-05-18)

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