I'm new...

[PurpleNewt]

Hello everyone

I'm hoping this space provides me with a safe place to talk about how low I feel. I hate burdening my best friend with it, and sometimes I feel like I make her feel depressed too.

Anyway - I'm a 31 y/o female.

Many things have happened in the past year and a half to get me to this point. I'm not sure whether to discuss them candidly in the fear of being judged.

Anyway, as it stands now I am on 30mg mirtazapine, weekly counselling since January last year and I'm probably lower than I have ever been. Does it ever get better??

[Paula]

Hi and welcome . There is absolutely no judgement here, just empathy, as we are all affected by depression in some way.

When was the last time you saw your doctor for a medication review? As for does it get better, yes is does but it’s a slow process and it may take time to figure out the type of treatment that suits you best.

[PurpleNewt]

Thank you.

I saw my doctor yesterday in fact, but he already had the repeat prescription ready for me and I was in there all of 20 seconds. I'm too anxious to stand my ground and ask for a proper review.

I went to a psychiatrist but the experience was horrible and I never want to repeat it. In fact, I walked out. The man was the least empathetic person I've had the misfortune to come across.

[Jaquaia]

Hi and welcome. Is there another doctor you could see? The idea of reviewing meds is to actually discuss if they're working for you!

[Paula]

Not all psychiatrists are like that, mine comes to my home on his way from the office ..... maybe a psychiatrist is not the route for you but I hope you’re not put off seeing any mental health professional, if it’s suggested?

[Suzi]

Hi and welcome! Let me agree that we don't judge anyone - I'm not perfect and so I don't feel I'm in any position to judge anyone else.

I also think that your doctor should be doing more than just issuing prescriptions. I had a really crappy experience with a psych, but then I saw a different one and they were amazing and helped me massively... Try not to judge all the professionals by one...

[OldMike]

Hi PurpleNewt

We don't judge people here, we've all been through it or know or live with people who've been through it and yes it does get better.

[magie06]

I've just gone through a crisis and during that time I saw a psycharist and a member of her team. The psycharist was lovely and spent about an hour one day talking me through what was going on and how we could 'fix' it. The member of the team was horrible. She wasn't interested in why I was sick, just wanted to give me a prescription and get me out of there. If I had seen the psycharist first maybe my crisis wouldn't have lasted as long or been so bad.
I think what I'm trying to say is that just because you have a bad experience with one doctor, it doesn't mean that they are all like that. Stick with it and get another opinion.

[EJ]

Hi Purple newt I’m on mirtazapine too and lithium and have been on this combination a long time. There is room to increase the mirtazapine if the doctor thinks that it might help you ? It can sometimes be a combination of medication and talking therapies that will help you feel better. MIND might be able to help too?
Best wishes.

[PurpleNewt]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to me. I'm truly grateful.

To be honest I have been put off mental health professionals. I'm keeping on with my counsellor though, she really helps me.

I just feel so emotional all the time and likely to burst into tears at random moments. I think a lot of this stems from my current situation and what I have dealt with over the last year. I find it so hard to get out of bed in the morning. I don't want to die - but I just feel nothing towards life at the moment, and that scares me.

I had a thought at the weekend - some people are just not meant to be happy. And I really feel like one of them.