No I hadn't. Thank you.
Perhaps you're right... I just don't know what to think and feel anymore.. It's all so hard and I feel like I am being dragged along for a ride I can't get off of.
He's throwing himself into his hobby, going again Friday and Sunday this week but doesn't seem to be at all different with me. He keeps saying how he is confused but he doesn't seem confused about anything else apart from me
Sweetheart this seems to be tearing you apart. You sound totally sad and drained by it all.... Maybe you need to have a talk with him and tell him what you're telling us.
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
I don't feel like I can talk to him about it.. He hates when I go on and on so unless he opens up about how he's feeling I don't want to talk about it all.
I feel like if he continues telling me he's confused about everything (when he doesn't seem confused about paintball or work) then I may have to tell him to go get space round his mum's.
Have you thought about writing him a letter explaining how you feel? Hunni, if he says he’s only confused about you, that’s probably because your relationship is what matters most to him, and what involves the strongest feelings. I can’t say this enough, it’s still really early days with the treatment ....
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
I completely agree with Paula. Are the side effects lessening at all for him?
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Yesterday I did his surprise for him.. He seemed a little overwhelmed but definitely liked it.. He broke down crying whilst I was showing him everything.. He said that he still feels terrible and it's beginning to creep up all the time.. He said when he was at paintball he just froze and begun thinking about his depression and how he had to tell some people as they noticed he wasn't himself.. Including his manager at work. He still doesn't know what's caused it and nothing seems to make him happy.. He then went on to say how he's making everyone miserable and feels awful about it... Despite telling him he wasnt making me miserable he told me he had overheard a conversation between me and my dad the other week where I told my dad I was really upset and how my dad was concerned about me..
Thankfully that prompted me in to telling him how I felt and why I said those things, that I feel as though he doesn't want me and wanted to end things. He didn't say much when I said those things but did he did say he loves me...
I told him it's early days and that we can get through it together.... He wanted to stop the conversation after a while so we did...
The side effects don't seem to be lessening just yet.. I've told him to go back to the doctors but he has an appointment next week Friday so said he will just wait till then....
Bless him! Everything he said could have been said by my husband when he was really poorly. I'm glad you managed to tell him how you are feeling etc
Keep talking...
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Did your husband ever figure out what triggered his depression...
Thank you for your kind words and advice.. Is there anything I can do to help i.e. take him out or things like that..?
Actually he's recently finished a very long and intensive course of psychotherapy and he and his therapist have worked out where it stems from. It's been long, hard and exceptionally painful journey and he's no where near through it. He's on a break "to let it all sink through and let him use the techniques" for a while until he starts counselling.
With Marc we went out taking pictures which really helped as he's an awesome photographer.
All you can do is sit and listen....
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
I understand. Just have been a long and tough road for you guys. How long until you started to feel better in the relationship.?
At the moment I am just a bit upset about the lack of reassurance from him, I told him how I felt he didn't want me anymore and how I questioned if another woman was involved and he didn't say anything. Is it normal for them to not even bother to reassure you.?
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