boyfriends depression breaking my heart SU trigger

[Suzi]

If he doesn't want you to go then you have to respect his wishes, no matter how hard it is for you lovely.... We're here to talk to though...

[Hereforyou]

And you guys are being incredibly helpful and reassuring..

You're right.. I should respect his wishes and I do.. I just feel a little bit pushed away though.. Like he doesn't want to spend too much time with me...

[Suzi]

That's not the case at all, I'm sure of that.

[magie06]

The thing with depression is that we sometimes push the people who mean the most to us away. It seems personal but it's a coping mechanism. And to have someone seeming to want to know how we are feeling at every moment of every day, makes us want to shut down altogether. Remember it's not personal it's the depression.

[Hereforyou]

I know you're right Magie.. I wish there was an off switch to stop me taking it personally..

Suzi.. I hope you're right and it's not.. Sometimes my demons don't seem to let things go..

[Suzi]

Hang on in there lovely.

What are you going to do to pamper and treat yourself this weekend whilst he's away?

[Hereforyou]

My mum has my nephews and my niece so I plan to wake up late both days.. Go to the gym and have a training session and then spend the days with my beautiful babies...

I am going to have dinner with my best friend round her place on Sunday which will be nice...I have no intention of messaging or calling my partner any time aside to wish him luck on Sunday...

[Suzi]

I'm seriously pleased that you're planning on doing things that make you happy!

[Hereforyou]

Thank you.. I am pleased to actually be able to get away from him...

I am really upset this morning.. Perhaps stupidly but I asked him about going to the doctors with him again today.. I told him I only wanted to go so that I could talk to the doctors myself and find out what's happening and what I can and can't do to help...

Of course that went down like a lead balloon and he started to get angry.. I asked if there was something he wasn't telling me because I couldn't understand why he didn't want me to go as he never stopped me before.. As per usual he started to get nasty and speak to me like rubbish which created a vicious circle of me getting upset and him getting more angry..

I tried to apologise for going on and give him a hug before he left for work and he just walked off..

In the end he called me useless because apparently I make him late for work everyday (by not physically waking him up out of bed only calling up the stairs for him to get up) and pathetic for crying when he said then.. I told him I was trying my best through tears and just got told to grow up..

Today.. I feel like crawling into a ball and crying alone in my bed...

[Paula]

Sweetie, he’s made it very clear several times that he didn’t want you to go with him - you have to treat him with respect, and respect his wishes.