boyfriends depression breaking my heart SU trigger

[Suzi]

It sounds to me as if he really does love you but is trying to fight that "I'm not good enough for her" evil weevil and all the other negativity that depression throws at you.... Sweetheart I know it's hard - believe me I really, truly do and I'm not making excuses for him at all... but if you want to make this work then a lot of it comes down to patience and a lot of talking and even more listening.
I know that sounds like a really sh(t answer and isn't giving you an answer, but it's the best I've got and I've been with Marc for 19 years.... It isn't always this hard....

[Hereforyou]

I really hope you're right.. This guy was the man I envisaged marrying.. I genuinely had never been happier than when I was with him..

I am trying to be patient and listen.. A huge proportion of it is my insecurities playing up right now.. Like you say though it is really hard...

We watched a film together again tonight.. I asked if I could move a pillow but his arm wasn't comfy.. I tried my luck and said that he could put it around me if he liked and he did.. We sat through a large portion of the film having a cuddle which was wonderful... Towards the end he did get hot and bothered and his stomach started to play up so he started to get irritable and talk rudely to me... I told him not to do that as I didn't appreciate it..

But I was happy that he gave me a cuddle..........

[Paula]

You did the right thing. It’s one thing being patient and understanding but you shouldn’t accept rudeness or nasty behaviour

[Suzi]

That's really good! A hug and you were completely right to not tolerate nastiness. That's just being an arse and has nothing to do with depression...

[Hereforyou]

No I wouldn't accept it.. I know it's him just being irritable and moody rather than anything else.....

Yeah I am really pleased about the hug.. Granted I had to ask if he wants to and I was concerned that he was doing it to please me rather than because he wanted to...

But he could have said no.....

[Suzi]

You sound like you are overthinking that one. If it's a hug, then take it

[Hereforyou]

I over think every little thing haha.. That's me all over....

I'll take the hug.. I was really happy I got one anyway..

[Suzi]

Good!

[Hereforyou]

He went round to his mum's yesterday... He didn't want me to go with with him because he didn't want to stay long.. Didn't end up coming home until gone 11pm so by the time he came home I didn't really talk to him or see him as he was tired....

I had a really bad day at work yesterday.... I wanted nothing more than a cuddle from the man I love and him to cheer me up like he normally does.. Instead he came home.. Sat on the sofa and exchanged stories of how our day went and I told him I had a bad day... Didn't really get much from him sadly...

We went to bed and whilst in bed I said to him "I know you probably don't want to but I've had a really bad day and I could do with a cuddle", he opened his arm to say come here then and that was that....

I laid there crying for a bit while he was asleep.. I feel so lonely and sad in my own relationship...

[Paula]

Oh hunni, I’m sorry you’re so sad, but he did cuddle you - he is trying by the sounds of it