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Thread: boyfriends depression breaking my heart SU trigger

  1. #101
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I don’t always want my hubby to say something when I’m low, mostly I need hugs
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  2. #102
    Hereforyou
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    He says he doesnt feel anything at all when I hug him.. So I don't even think that helps....

  3. #103
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Dont give up, just knowing you love him is enough at the moment, even if he doesn’t feel it
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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    Flo (01-04-18)

  5. #104
    I had a bad bout of depression 2 years ago and all my husband could do was hug me. I could hardly string a sentence together let alone talk to him. I didn't see my daughter or grandchildren because I felt so numb - this is someone that can talk the hind legs off a donkey! All you can do is be there for him and give him a cuddle. Don't take his lack of conversation or intimacy personally. A lot of people with depression withdraw. The poor old brain can't handle much at all. It's frustrating that AD's take such a long time to kick in. And yes, he may need to have a dosage changed. But he'll get there in the end. It's a horrible thing to have, and even more horrible for partners to witness when they feel powerless to help. But it's not YOU. Everything crossed that he starts to feel better soon. Just keep loving him.

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  7. #105
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Paula and Flo are right. It's tough, but you can do it...
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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  9. #106
    Hereforyou
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    Thank you all so much.... I am so happy I found this forum.. Just to hear that people have gone through the same and come out the other side is so positive and keeps me feeling optimistic...

    We went out with another couple last night and we had a really good time... He does seem to be less withdrawn and much more talkative and comfortable.. He even begun talking about our future again yesterday which makes me want to cry tears of joy....

    It really really is tough.. Every time he cries and says he's fed up and wants to give up it breaks my heart... A couple of days ago he said he didn't think he could do it anymore and I just sat there telling him how strong he is and how he can beat this and get better.. How he has fought worse than this and got through it... I am trying to keep him strong even if I don't particularly feel strong myself...

    The side effects also have seemed to wind down in the recent couple of days too.. He seems to be sleeping better (perhaps helped by the fact I bought us a super thick and soft mattress topper) and doesn't seem to have to run to the toilet after every meal.. He does still have a bad tummy when he goes but it's not as urgent anymore thankfully....

  10. #107
    Him sleeping better will help a lot. Even if he fancies a nap during the day when time allows. The weather isn't going to be all that great but a bit of a walk, fresh air and things to see can help too. The new mattress topper sounds lovely!!

  11. #108
    Hereforyou
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    Yeah I always let him nap when he feels he needs it.. I only ever wake him up when dinner is ready or we need to go out etc.. I am hoping things start to make a progressive turn... I certainly miss the old days but I am keeping positive that they will return soon enough....

  12. #109
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I'm so glad you are both talking. It really will help. I'm so glad that the side effects seem to be lessening too.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  13. #110
    Hereforyou
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    Yeah I am glad he's talking to me too.. I am just trying to do really nice things for him and letting him feel loved..

    Like last night I ran him a bath and while he was having a bath I set up the living room with candles and little snacks and blankets so he could come in and relax... Granted I know that's not going to fix things but I just want him to feel a little more like there's good things for him to focus on....

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