boyfriends depression breaking my heart SU trigger

[Suzi]

Well yes of course I have.. He has had depression for over 2 months now and I haven't spent every day or even every week asking him to make decisions.. But considering the way he was acting this last week I think those questions needed to be asked and I do feel like I have every reason to ask those questions..

If he wants to go surely he can make a decision to just go..?

Hold on - right now I doubt he even knows whether he is hungry or thirsty or if he wants tea or coffee and you think he's in a fit state to make such a monumental decision? I don't think you're being fair to him at all with that comment actually.
No, he shouldn't have done those things, but you shouldn't have "gone on and on" about going with him to the paintballing and the Drs when he'd made himself crystal clear that he didn't want you to go.

I can't help but feel like right now I've made the wrong decision by staying with him.. He seemed so angry and miserable yesterday.. He talks about knowing we aren't acting like a couple but does nothing to change it.. He's done things purposely to hurt to me and even admitted it.. He's said he's realised he's ruined everything but doesn't comfort me or do anything to make me feel better.. He talks about not knowing if he still loves me or just knowing he once used to...
Actually most therapists - and us - recommend NOT making such massive and life changing decisions when they are so poorly.

Is this all part of the depression or am I holding out for a love that's already lost...???

What is it you want him to do to "change it?" I don't think you understand quite what he's dealing with right now.
I truly am sorry you are struggling but I think your main focus right now needs to be getting him more stable and more able to deal with this rather than you needing comforting.. I do truly understand as I've been there and I know how much it hurts - but he's no where near ready to make those decisions you want..