boyfriends depression breaking my heart SU trigger

[Suzi]

I would hate for anyone in my family to discuss my relationship. It feels that it's like betraying him - that everyone is talking about him itms? I think that it would really, really hurt him. I think you should tell your family to back off...

[Hereforyou]

Yeah I can see both your points.. I think my brother was just really upset about the other weekend and feels a little bit hurt by it all..

Aside from that I don't think he's ever said anything to him about us...

I forgot to mention.. After a while of me being downstairs last night he came downstairs to find out what I was doing.. He's being very weird.. Not sure if he wants space or not.. I've tried to back off a lot but he seems to be more clingy...

[Suzi]

Weird in what way?
Thing is it's not just your brother - your Dad was effectively spying on him when he went away last weekend to and gave you reports on his behaviour too....

[Hereforyou]

Like asking what I am doing all the time and why I am in the other room instead of being with him.. Asking why I took so long to come to the gym.. Just asking lots of questions about what I am doing tha t sort of thing.. He said he wanted space so I've pulled back and I am trying to give him that..

The only thing my dad made "reports" on was the fact that he kept going off to use the phone but didn't try to talk to me which upset my dad...

[Paula]

These aren’t dissimilar questions to the ones you kept asking when you first became a member here. He’s feeling insecure too.....

[Hereforyou]

Hmm perhaps you're right.. I am not sure what to do then.. I don't want to smother him again and I am not entirely sure why he's feeling insecure..

Should I just let him do what he feels comfortable with..?

I came downstairs because I couldn't sleep anymore and I wanted to watch tv and not long after he came downstairs after me and is now sleeping on the sofa next to me...

[Suzi]

He's trying to be closer to you obviously... Hunni you have to go with the flow.

[Hereforyou]

I don't think so.. Today he's said how he "feels weird" ... Then said how he keeps worrying about things so naturally I asked him what and he mentioned a couple of things before mentioning he's worried about us.. I asked what he's worried about us for as I was with everything else he mentioned and he clamed up.. Not sure why he could talk about everything else and not about us....

He mentioned about one of the reasons being because he has been going off the rails where he went drinking..

We spoke about our anniversary in 3 weeks time and he didn't seem bothered at all about it.. We are due to go to a concert that we had planned for over a year and he doesn't want to go..

It upset me because it's like he doesn't want to do anything with me.. I asked him why and he said because it's different going out with your friends.. He never used to before though..

I noticed he started to get all panicky so i tried to calm him down only for him to pull away is soon as he could and then be relieved when I stopped cuddling him..

In the end I got upset and said why doesn't he just admit he doesn't want to be with me anymore.. I probably shouldn't have said that but I just got upset..

[Suzi]

That does sound harsh.... Did you say it or shout it?

[Hereforyou]

I just said it..

I was just so upset by him being thankful I'd stopped cuddling him and pulling away again...

He says things like he's worried about us and how he knows he's not a acting like a boyfriend then doesn't even want to spend time doing nice things with me or even celebrating out anniversary together...