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Thread: boyfriends depression breaking my heart SU trigger

  1. #231
    Yeah I know what you mean... He does seem to be getting back to his normal self although he says he's doing it on purpose... I am glad he's trying at least...

  2. #232
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Trust me, he's trying. Depression is horrific...
    Today I aim to be the best person I can be.
    That mean that yesterday or tomorrow I might be a better person,
    but today's best is more than good enough for today.

  3. #233
    He gets a lot of credit in my book for trying.. He's doing so well with it.. Sometimes he doesn't even seem like he's ill with how hard he's trying to "act his normal self" ...... I am super proud of him for functioning so well...

  4. #234
    These last few days have been a bit tricky...

    As mentioned before he seems to be putting on a brave face.. And when he does there are indications of his former self... Admittedly he had said before how he is doing it on purpose... Yesterday however he seemed "okay" ... However when the conversation came on to a holiday it turned negative.. We weren't talking about anything immediate or planning something but he mentioned his passport and I reminded him that it was running out and he should do it renew it soon as depending on where we go in the year he may need it to be valid for 3 months...

    That proceeded on to him saying he thinks I should go on holiday with someone else this year.. When I asked why he said because he would be terrible company and that he didn't want to be miserable abroad.. I tried to reassure him that he wasn't terrible company now and wasn't miserable now and he said he's always miserable.. He began to want to cry but again tried to force it back.. I told him to just let it out and if he wants to cry to just do so.. Things took a turn for the worst when he started to have a panic attack when talking about "not getting better".. His hands started to go numb and he begun having difficulty breathing.. I held him as he sobbed into my chest and arms and tried to reassure him that he was strong enough to get better and that he has my support until the point he tells me he doesn't want me around anymore.. This prompted him to ask why I would think that but I reassured him I meant it in a generic way... He explained how exhausted he was and how fed up he was with not feeling any better with nothing making him happy and constantly feeling like crap...After some time he seemed to calm down and seemed to relax a little bit more..

    Today.. I met him from work (I was in the area) with a small gift.. He wasn't too happy about me being so close to his work as he's in construction and fears that his colleagues will make inappropriate comments about me that will make him angry and with how he's feeling now will make him last out...

    As the night progressed... He agreed to make me my favourite meal that he cooks.. When I returned from walking the dog however his mood had seemed to shift.. I left him for a few hours before he begun to talk about how he feels crappy again and begun to cry.. He said that he feels he gets to a certain point at night where he feels that the tablets have worn off and he falls back into the "depressed" mood set... I said perhaps it's because he has put on a front all day and when he comes home he feels he can take it off.. He said possibly to that idea...

    When these times happen I am really not too sure what to say or do.. I try to reassure him that he's strong and able to beat this.. I ask what I can do to help bit aside from that I don't know what else to do or say... He still says he doesn't know what he feels or what he wants but says that he sometimes feels I smother him (when I kiss his forehead multiple times) but equally likes it when I hug him so doesn't want me to stop..

    We've sat there in silence at times because I've asked him if he wants to just be silent for a bit.. To which he has agreed.. But he also wants me to stay near him when I offer to go upstairs..

    I guess I am just a bit lost on what I can or should say/do when he's in these "down times" ...

  5. #235
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Can you try to persuade him to go back to the Drs to tell them what you've told us? Maybe they need to talk to him about medication or talking therapy too.... Definitely see if he will let you go in with him as you can help say things from your point of view too..
    Today I aim to be the best person I can be.
    That mean that yesterday or tomorrow I might be a better person,
    but today's best is more than good enough for today.

  6. #236
    As he's just changed over the medication dosage I suggested if he's not feeling an improvement in 2 weeks (when it settles into his system) that he goes back to the doctors.?

    I've offered to go plenty of times but he says he doesn't want me to....

  7. #237
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Is he still having side effects?
    Today I aim to be the best person I can be.
    That mean that yesterday or tomorrow I might be a better person,
    but today's best is more than good enough for today.

  8. #238
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    He doesn’t want you to go in with him, but maybe he can be made to see that it's important for you both if you do?
    Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best.

  9. #239
    Yes but the doctor is running tests to determine if it's being caused from the antidepressants..

    How can I make him see that..?

  10. #240
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Just say to him that you may be able to say how things seem to you to the Dr...
    Today I aim to be the best person I can be.
    That mean that yesterday or tomorrow I might be a better person,
    but today's best is more than good enough for today.

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