Hi and welcome!
I too have chronic pain, but your intro could have been written by my husband. I'm so sorry, I know how much it's affected him over the years, but he's just finished a long period of psychotherapy - with a different trust than he's been under before. It's really, really helped him to talk about things. Have you asked your GP for a referral for counselling or is there a charity who accept donations rather than fully paid sessions?