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Thread: hey Iím sad

  1. #1

    Unhappy hey Iím sad

    Hello

    Iíve suffered with depression most of my life. Iím 41 now. I grew up in a chaotic home with an alcoholic dad and a mum shutting off all our emotions. I have such low self esteem. I achieve well on the outside as I am so well organised and push myself. But thatís just a symptom of my childhood - trying to control the chaos. I also have chronic migraines which has been nearly 15 years. I have been to my GP so many times and just keep getting prescribed anti depressants. Iíve been on them for over a decade. Iíve never had counselling. I am desperate to talk to someone but I canít afford it. I self referred to my local mental health team and although they initially said I qualified for counselling they then only offered me 3 group cbt sessions. They even apologised they couldnít do more but they just donít have the funding. I was on a train today googling ways to help myself - again. And I found this forum.

    I have tried so many times to beat this. To meditate, eat more fruit, be grateful, do the things I enjoy.... and itís just making so little difference. I donít have the energy to keep doing it. It feels more like Iím trying to distract myself than ever having a day when I feel happy, or worry free.

    Any advice anyone? Thanks in advance. Hope you are all okay x

  2. #2
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome. I'm sorry you can't get the help you need, it seems to be a common story. It might be worth you contacting your local branch of MIND and seeing if they can offer any support.
    TÍn pŽrdu, jham‚i sŽ rŽcŰbro

  3. #3
    Hello yes I’ll try that thanks for the suggestion. It’s crazy that I can get help for my migraines from NHS but not for my mental health!

  4. #4
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Hi Sally and welcome. I deal with chronic pain too so understand how that alone puts a huge strain on mental health. Adding the rest of life in and it can be a struggle to cope. Yet youíve got this far, lovely, and youíve found us. Keep talking
    Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1 v 19

  5. #5
    Welcome to DWD

  6. #6
    Hi Paula it’s already feeling so nice to hear from people who understand. I’m sorry to hear that you also have chronic pain. It’s seems to be one thing or another everyday. My chronic pain makes me feel so exhausted every day and I never sleep well. And never feel like I have energy to do much. And times are so hard financially as well there isn’t much to plan and look forward to. I’ve just read the Matt Haig book Reasons to Stay Alive and in had a lovely list at the end of all the nice simple things in life like a starry sky or splashing in puddles! I made my own list and trying to find joy in the little things. But it’s hard. I keep crying all the time at really random moments!

  7. #7
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Youíre in good company - thereís quite a few of us here whoíll cry at anything - and Iím the worst well done for making that list!
    Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1 v 19

  8. #8
    Here it is....

    Sunrises. Sunsets. Starry skies. The dark. The quiet. Books. Cold water. Ice. Hot baths. Fairy lights. Swimming pools. Seas. Rivers. Ponds. Walks. Sounds of waves. Sounds of ripples. Puddles. Autumn leaves. The darkness of the cinema. Not being alone. Being alone. Picnics. John Cusack in a rom com. Lists. Park benches. Chips on the seafront. Nighttime driving. Random acts of kindness. Openness and honesty. Discovering something new. Floating. The rain. The wind. Fresh bedding. Teddy bears. Made for TV movies. Sleep. Knitting. Dungarees. Toms. A good haircut. The warmth of a hot water bottle. Foxes. Bears. Blankets. Cake. Organising. The moon. Thunder and lightening. Crows. Swimming. Cheese on toast. Brown paper. Wind in the trees. Bed socks. Good winter boots. Mittens. The moon. Warm pyjamas. Splashing in puddles. Paddling in the sea. The rain. Dark skies and bright stars. Your own bed after time away.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to sallyb For This Useful Post:

    Paula (14-03-18)

  10. #9
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I think you and I are going to get along
    Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1 v 19

  11. #10
    Ah thats nice to hear ��

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