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Thread: Hello

  1. #1

    Hello

    Hi there, Iím a relatively new member on here but Iíve been reading for the past week so I thought Iíd post and introduce myself.

    Iím a guy in my mid 30ís and Iíve dealt with depression off and on for much of my life, even when I was quite small tbh. Iíve always pushed it down or dissmissed it as a self-indulgance. That said, suicidal thoughts and self-harm have also been a part of who I am for almost as long Ė in terms of the latter I donít do that kind of thing anymore but I am ashamed of the scars that itís left behind and I doubt they will ever completely go away.

    Unfortunately though you can only push things down and carry on regardless for so long. About 6 months ago cracks began to form and once again it all came flooding back to the fore
    . This time I decided to actually seek help and for the last few months Iíve been both seeing a councillor and taking antidepressants. I think theyíve helped a bit but ultimately I feel theyíve changed nothing. Iíve never felt comfortable in the world but I now find myself feeling increasingly disconnected, hopeless, disassociated, and wanting nothing more than to hide away in the dark and disappear. Obviously this has caused problems with relationships and to an extent family Ė even those that know why canít really understand or properly empathise unless they have experienced something similar themselves, which most havenítÖ

    The fact of the matter is that I just donít really want to speak to anyone anymore, even when at work (which is awkward as I work in the heritage sector with the public) both because I don't want to be unintentionally off with people that don't deserve it and because I really can't be bothered faking hapiness for people that just wouldn't get it if I explained how I really felt. So that being the case I wondered if there were any depression related forums of online communities out there and lo and behold I came across this site with what appears to be a reasonably active and friendly community of users. So here I am.
    HiÖ



    Thanks,
    Luke

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Surrey. UK
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    72,542
    Hi and welcome to DWD Luke. I hope you'll feel part of the community here - everyone is really friendly and supportive and there's a good regular crowd
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference.

  3. #3
    Awesome, thank you very much Suzi

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Lux For This Useful Post:

    Suzi (09-03-18)

  5. #4
    Hi Luke and welcome to the forum.

  6. #5
    Hi, thanks Stella.

  7. #6
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Sep 2012
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    38,807
    Hi Luke and welcome
    Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1 v 19

  8. #7

  9. #8
    Junior Member TiffanyyO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Ontario Canada
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    158
    Hey there, and welcome
    "Always Smile, Even When It hurts"

  10. #9
    Hello Luke

    I’m a newbie too. Just joined. I also work in he heritage sector and although it’s lovely it is also underpaid and over worked and so much is expected from us. We are somewhere other people go to have a nice day and to get away from their their own problems!

    I too push things down and down and then every 6 months have a week of not being able to stop crying and I make loads of plans to make myself better but prob just end up pushing down again. I have always felt little connection or enjoyment in life and if there was a get out button I’d press it!

    I am crap at knowing when I’m gonna tip over and wandered if you ever start to see the cracks early on?

    Nice to chat
    sally

  11. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by sallyb View Post
    Hello Luke

    I’m a newbie too. Just joined. I also work in he heritage sector and although it’s lovely it is also underpaid and over worked and so much is expected from us. We are somewhere other people go to have a nice day and to get away from their their own problems!

    I too push things down and down and then every 6 months have a week of not being able to stop crying and I make loads of plans to make myself better but prob just end up pushing down again. I have always felt little connection or enjoyment in life and if there was a get out button I’d press it!

    I am crap at knowing when I’m gonna tip over and wandered if you ever start to see the cracks early on?

    Nice to chat
    sally

    Hi Sally
    I couldn't agree more! I love where I work but in many ways it also feels like the worst place for me sometimes, as I'm either having to plaster on a smile for the general public or I'm alone with my thoughts when the building is quiet. I think I tend to move in cycles like that as well, it's hard to say really. This week at work has been particularly hard for me as it was the first week back after a couple of weeks off work and each day has just felt harder than the last with today just feeling like a confusing nightmare though you probably wouldn't have known it to look at me. Re the button, funny you should say that, I used almost the exact same expression talking with my councillor this week.

    Yeah I'd say I can see the cracks forming, not that there's a damn thing I can do about it...

    Thanks for sharing,
    L

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