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Thread: Hello

  1. #1
    Lux
    Guest

    Hello

    Hi there, I’m a relatively new member on here but I’ve been reading for the past week so I thought I’d post and introduce myself.

    I’m a guy in my mid 30’s and I’ve dealt with depression off and on for much of my life, even when I was quite small tbh. I’ve always pushed it down or dissmissed it as a self-indulgance. That said, suicidal thoughts and self-harm have also been a part of who I am for almost as long – in terms of the latter I don’t do that kind of thing anymore but I am ashamed of the scars that it’s left behind and I doubt they will ever completely go away.

    Unfortunately though you can only push things down and carry on regardless for so long. About 6 months ago cracks began to form and once again it all came flooding back to the fore
    . This time I decided to actually seek help and for the last few months I’ve been both seeing a councillor and taking antidepressants. I think they’ve helped a bit but ultimately I feel they’ve changed nothing. I’ve never felt comfortable in the world but I now find myself feeling increasingly disconnected, hopeless, disassociated, and wanting nothing more than to hide away in the dark and disappear. Obviously this has caused problems with relationships and to an extent family – even those that know why can’t really understand or properly empathise unless they have experienced something similar themselves, which most haven’t…

    The fact of the matter is that I just don’t really want to speak to anyone anymore, even when at work (which is awkward as I work in the heritage sector with the public) both because I don't want to be unintentionally off with people that don't deserve it and because I really can't be bothered faking hapiness for people that just wouldn't get it if I explained how I really felt. So that being the case I wondered if there were any depression related forums of online communities out there and lo and behold I came across this site with what appears to be a reasonably active and friendly community of users. So here I am.
    Hi…



    Thanks,
    Luke

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Surrey. UK
    Posts
    95,317
    Hi and welcome to DWD Luke. I hope you'll feel part of the community here - everyone is really friendly and supportive and there's a good regular crowd
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  3. #3
    Lux
    Guest
    Awesome, thank you very much Suzi

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Lux For This Useful Post:

    Suzi (09-03-18)

  5. #4
    Hi Luke and welcome to the forum.

  6. #5
    Lux
    Guest
    Hi, thanks Stella.

  7. #6
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Hampshire
    Posts
    52,876
    Hi Luke and welcome
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  8. #7
    QPRFan
    Guest
    Hi Luke welcome

  9. #8
    TiffanyyO
    Guest
    Hey there, and welcome

  10. #9
    sallyb
    Guest
    Hello Luke

    I’m a newbie too. Just joined. I also work in he heritage sector and although it’s lovely it is also underpaid and over worked and so much is expected from us. We are somewhere other people go to have a nice day and to get away from their their own problems!

    I too push things down and down and then every 6 months have a week of not being able to stop crying and I make loads of plans to make myself better but prob just end up pushing down again. I have always felt little connection or enjoyment in life and if there was a get out button I’d press it!

    I am crap at knowing when I’m gonna tip over and wandered if you ever start to see the cracks early on?

    Nice to chat
    sally

  11. #10
    Lux
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by sallyb View Post
    Hello Luke

    I’m a newbie too. Just joined. I also work in he heritage sector and although it’s lovely it is also underpaid and over worked and so much is expected from us. We are somewhere other people go to have a nice day and to get away from their their own problems!

    I too push things down and down and then every 6 months have a week of not being able to stop crying and I make loads of plans to make myself better but prob just end up pushing down again. I have always felt little connection or enjoyment in life and if there was a get out button I’d press it!

    I am crap at knowing when I’m gonna tip over and wandered if you ever start to see the cracks early on?

    Nice to chat
    sally

    Hi Sally
    I couldn't agree more! I love where I work but in many ways it also feels like the worst place for me sometimes, as I'm either having to plaster on a smile for the general public or I'm alone with my thoughts when the building is quiet. I think I tend to move in cycles like that as well, it's hard to say really. This week at work has been particularly hard for me as it was the first week back after a couple of weeks off work and each day has just felt harder than the last with today just feeling like a confusing nightmare though you probably wouldn't have known it to look at me. Re the button, funny you should say that, I used almost the exact same expression talking with my councillor this week.

    Yeah I'd say I can see the cracks forming, not that there's a damn thing I can do about it...

    Thanks for sharing,
    L

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