I found this forum through an internet search as it is so difficult for friends and family to understand, even if I could explain it to them.

I am 64 and on the face of it have nothing to be depressed about. I am widowed but have 2 lovely grown up daughters and 2 grandchildren who live close by. I retired from a challenging job a year and a half ago. I was glad to go and got a good package but I do miss the intellectual stimulation and, I have to be honest, I was "someone" there. I had knowledge and experience which people looked up to. I still have hobbies and interests and a (limited) social life but am finding it difficult to hold on to my identity. I see myself becoming one of the faceless, shapeless "old people". Without the company of work it is easy to withdraw into yourself and get out of touch. My main triggers I think are news items in the paper and on the internet. I cannot cope with all the problems in the World - violence to animals, hopeless wars, environmental degradation, Donald Trump, Brexit... on and on. In my head I know that I cannot do anything about these things, although I try to do what I can by contributing to good causes and signing petitions etc, but I just have this all encompassing cloak of sadness and despair about the state of the World. Is it depression, anxiety or what? Whatever, it is a lonely place to be.

In the past I have had 2 depressive episodes and been prescribed anti depressants. The second episode, around the time of my late husband's death and the ending of another relationship, took 10 years out of my life. I was on and off Cipramil for a lot of it and never want to go back on those drugs again. (In fact I don't think I was depressed at all, just grieving, but the ease with which patients are diagnosed with depression is another thread entirely).

Thank you for listening