Don't know what to do about work (SH)

[Suzi]

Are you cancelling the support group?
Is your union rep coming with you to the meeting on Wednesday?

[Paula]

Please take a rep, or someone, to the Wednesday meeti g

[UncleChip]

The support group have contacted me to arrange to re-schedule, but so far I don't have a set date for it.
My union rep is coming with me tomorrow.

My wife seems to disapprove of my going to my GP for help and I simply need to do more exercise and do more things I enjoy. But if I do those things then I won't have time to do the parts of the housework I usually do. And I want to get back into writing, but when I do get a few minutes I just don't know what to write any more.

Work today has been a lot like yesterday, trying to hold everything in and then feeling overwhelmed and running to an empty room or store cupboard where I can let everything out for a few minutes before getting on with work again.

[Suzi]

Sweetheart does your wife understand how bad you are feeling? Have you told her how bad it really is?
You can't keep on with that at work - it's not fair on you and it's not very professional. You have to tell people how bad you are feeling. What about occupational health?
You can still do things you enjoy and do housework. What bits are "your responsibility?" How long do they take you?

[UncleChip]

I've tried telling my wife how I'm feeling, but I don't think she understands. Thing is, she's confided in me how she suffered depression and would self harm before she met me, so I thought she might understand. Maybe she's forgotten, or she thinks I can't feel as bad as she once did.

I've had occupational health meetings, but each one basically ends with a recommendation that I go to my GP. But my next appointment is tomorrow and I have the list ready.

Primarily it's my job to wash up on an evening, but it seems to take 2-3 hours. Between getting home from work and starting washing up, I often have to walk to the shops to top-up on milk, bread, etc. which is at least an hour and a half too. Most nights one or more of the kids are at an after-school club, so I sometimes have to go out to bring them home. But I'll do whatever house work I'm told besides this, though I'm no good at cooking or ironing. Things tend to get burnt (or sometimes under-cooked).

[Paula]

Forgive me being blunt but how on earth does your washing up take 2-3 hours? I seem to remember you saying you don’t have room for a dishwasher but you can get table top dishwashers.

I can’t comment on how far away is your shop but perhaps it’d be more time efficient if you get what you need on the way home

[Suzi]

How on earth does it take you so long to wash up? I normally do ours and I cook around 4 different meals per night as we have meat eaters, vegetarians and vegans in this house so on average I'm using 3 - 4 many pots and pans as I'd expect you to use and it doesn't take me that long if I did it in one stretch. With my physical disabilities I have to stop several times and then start again but even then it doesn't take that long.
WRT getting bread and milk - can't you do it on the way home or when you go out to get the children from after school club? What about your wife could she not do one or other of those?

Hope your Dr's appointment goes well today.

[UncleChip]

Quite often there's breakfast dishes to wash as well as those from the evening meal. My wife often asks why it takes so long, but the honest answer is I don't know.
I'll look into the table-top dishwasher.

There are no shops between home and work, and the shops are quite a detour from the route to the kids' clubs. Tonight I have a route planned though - from work, to home, drop off my work bag, then to the doctor's, the chippy, the shops, then pick up my youngest from scouts and then back home.
Hopefully I can remember all that.

[Angie]

We do our pots once a day, and my kids are home all day, my son does them for me and he has disabilities and he hates doing the pots and it doesnt take him that long, we find it quicker if we organise the pots from cleanest to dirtiest etc and have plates together, cups together and cutlery and pans together etc and that helps

[magie06]

The breakfast dishes are washed and left to dry until lunchtime. The lunchtime dishes are done with the dinner dishes and we're all done in about 15 mins max.