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Thread: Are depressed people unloyal? *explicit trigger*

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  1. #1
    Angel Of The Morning
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    Are depressed people unloyal? *explicit trigger*

    Hi guys, I've noticed that every now and then I have wet dream, sometimes with my girl, sometimes not. Sometimes I notice that that is not my girlfriend and I immediately stop and feel bad for what I did, sometimes I keep going. The idea of cheating on her just pushes me on the ground because I don't want to do something like that to her, it breaks me to think that I can make such dreams. I know that problably I'm making things bigger than what they really are, but I'm worried because often times I find myself thinking that my life won't be any different if I didn't have my girlfriend, and it just breaks my heart to even think something like that because I really love and I want to love her as much as possible. I know she deserves my love but it seems impossible to give her the love that I really want to give her. Does that mean that I will cheat on her? Does that mean that I don't love her? Is it just my depression messing with my head and my feelings?
    I am really sorry if I'm asking the wrong questions. I have planned to talk to my psychologist about that in a couple of days, it's just that I had another dream this morning and it's really bothering me
    Last edited by Suzi; 27-02-18 at 02:23 PM. Reason: Adding an explicit trigger warning to alert others who may not be able or want to discuss the sexual side of life.

  2. #2
    Knight of Spamswotting by Highest order of Chufty Badges Jarre's Avatar
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    Having fantasys are ok, we all have them, acting on them is a different kettle of fish, we all have those fantasies of sleeping with someone famous, that's normal, it is the difference between dreaming about it and actually carrying out, if its only dreaming then thats not cheating, its if you actually carry it out that then that is cheating.


  3. #3
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I believe you said you were 17. Fantasising and wet dreams come with the territory ...
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  4. #4
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I've added a trigger warning to your thread as some people prefer not to discuss this side of life and that's fully their right.

    However, I've taught sex education to a group of inner London city teenagers so not a lot phases me At 17 you will have had the "your body is going to go through changes" talk at home or at school I would have thought? So therefore you know that wet dreams are commonplace for boys of your age and you know that it's perfectly normal to have dreams of this nature. So, why is it bothering you so much?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  5. #5
    Angel Of The Morning
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    The wet dream per se isn't bothering me, what's bothering me is that I now have wet dream about someone who isn't my girl

  6. #6
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I’ve been with my husband for 19 years and adore him but still dream about other men. It doesn’t mean I’m cheating on him - as long as it doesn’t take away from our relationship
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  7. #7
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I think that everyone has someone they fantasize about whether they are in a relationship or not - especially if it's a famous person.... Is the person you are fantasizing about a famous person or someone else you know?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  8. #8
    Angel Of The Morning
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    Well, I guess the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that I feel like she and I are strangers, I really want to feel close to her and love her. She has something that makes me want to really love her but I don't know, it just feels like we are acting. I am afraid that I don't love her and never will

  9. #9
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    you Sound very serious and adult for a 17 year old - most kids your age wouldn’t be even thinking about this sort of thing
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  10. #10
    So the first thing to say is that depression can make us feel detached from the people close to us, and also like we're not good enough for them. As someone who's recently entered into a new relationship, this is something i also experience. It'd be well worth speaking to you psychologist about this.

    Do you mind if i ask how long you and your girlfriend have been together? does she know about your depression? I'm not going to suggest that you necessarily should or shouldn't talk about it with her, but it might help if she can understand what you're going through.

    As for thinking/dreaming about other people, it's perfectly natural, and as others have said, it's perfectly fine as long as you don't act on it. I'm fortunate that my boyfriend and I can check out guys together (im guessing this is less of an option for you) but neither of us want an open relationship and we're respectful of that. we all find a range of body types and facial features etc attractive, and that doesn't stop being the case just because we find a partner.

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