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Thread: What does he mean?

  1. #11
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Communication is very important but, sometimes, we end up saying the same thing to each other over and over and a little space can help. I know it hurts, lovely, but I also know that, when I was pushing my husband away, I didn’t want to or mean to. Eventually I realised what I was doing and I’m sure your other half will too
    ‘When all else fails, use glitter instead’

  2. #12
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    I think it's the not knowing that's confusing me, he hasn't actually said break up, but used the word space which can mean so much. I am trying to focus on me. I will be going to the gym a bit next week and I have a lunch date Monday and Tuesday....its the down time when I'd normally talk to him that hard. Sounds silly but I ripped his valentines card up earlier and threw the roses away he got me....I can't bare to see them. Everything is making me hurt. I do feel like he is pushing me away, but when you did it to your husband did you want him to try or not or did you not know?

    Apologies if you do not wish to answer

  3. #13
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Oh wow. Tbh, there were times I was so ill I felt absolutely nothing except pain. He was unbelievably patient with me and never let me feel like I was a burden.
    ‘When all else fails, use glitter instead’

  4. #14
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    Thanks Paula, I appreciate it. I am always patient, I'm trying, I have never seen him as a burden and I tell him that. I think that is why I feel so bad I reacted this way, but I needed him to know how I felt.....is that me being selfish?

  5. #15
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Not at all. There’s two of you in this relationship
    ‘When all else fails, use glitter instead’

  6. #16
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    Should I let him contact me or would he need me to reach out to him?

  7. #17
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I think you said it yourself, give him a few days ....
    ‘When all else fails, use glitter instead’

  8. #18
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    Thanks ladies I'll keep you posted

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Niffler For This Useful Post:

    Paula (17-02-18)

  10. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Hi and welcome. It can work when one partner has depression/associated illnesses. It's worked with me and my (now) husband. We've known each other for just over 20 years and it's taken some pain, some treading on eggshells but most of all talking. We talk all the time.
    You could try writing him an email or a letter and putting in there what you are saying to us, but then it's there and he can read it and reread it as much as needed and you can say everything you need without an argument..
    Suzi - can I ask....does the walking on eggshells ever stop or reduce or does that all come with communication?

  11. #20
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ConcernedGF View Post
    Suzi - can I ask....does the walking on eggshells ever stop or reduce or does that all come with communication?
    Honestly? I tried for so long walking on tiptoes, getting the kids to be as quiet as possible etc and one day I just snapped at him and lost the plot a bit and told him that whilst I knew he was poorly, there were 5 of us living there etc etc etc and I've not done so since. I've been respectful when he's having a blip, the same as the kids, but on the whole it's now much more balanced. We've been through some seriously hard times - 3 breakdowns, panic attacks so bad he has had ambulances called for him, panic attacks so severe he didn't leave the house, paranoia, social phobia, crippling anxiety etc and touch wood he's doing OK atm, but our relationship has never been stronger and we've been together for 19 years. He works with my physical disabilities, I work with his mental illnesses - between us we'd make a great person lol
    I'm not proud that I lost my temper, but I'm glad I did as it really helped us...


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