Hello all,

IÂ’m new to the forum and to depression.

IÂ’ll try and keep it short if I can.

Almost a month ago the doctor had diagnosed me with severe depression. A bit of a shock to me but looking at the symptoms it described exactly how I was feeling. IÂ’m not sure what has triggered it but with general life stresses I felt like I was also struggling with work.

Struggling to sleep and then struggling to concentrate on basic work tasks I new something was up. Constantantly worried about work and if IÂ’m performing ok I felt like even when IÂ’m home it was consuming my life and I couldnÂ’t switch off.

So after my appointment with the doctor and a prescription of fluoxetine I thought things may improve. With advice from the doctor he suggested I let my boss (the director) know. So not wanting to have a face to face conversation I emailed him. A simple email to say what the doctor has diagnosed and that IÂ’m on medication. Just to say IÂ’m struggling but IÂ’m not asking for anything from the company or him and hopefully things will return to normal. Also just to let him know that I may have some doctor appointments to go to. Unfortunately I had no response to this. My boss works remotely 4 days a week and in the office one day however I talk to him daily on the phone. So no response from this email and then him avoiding me for the rest of that week. No phone calls etc.

The next week at work was hell. Struggling to do stuff that I could do in my sleep, sweating, headaches, no sleep and every morning crying my eyes out. (Id have thought I was a man without emotion. I donÂ’t cry...apparently I do)

Then Wednesday the following week was a tough one. A complete melt down and almost crashing on the way to work I decided I couldnÂ’t go in. So I emailed my boss apologising that I could be in work today and IÂ’m seeing the doctor later. Anyway his very supportive response was one word... understood!

The doctor was obviously concerned and had signed me off work. The plan was to just completely chill out and try and catch up on sleep.

So I email my boss to say IÂ’ve been signed off for a week, I attached a photo of my doctors note and asked if he would like it posting to him direct.( people open the post in our office so didnÂ’t want it sending it there)

His response was purely... due to this type of absence we will need to do a return to work interview to make sure we are doing the right things.

Within this time I had a conversation with a IAPT therapist who had assessed me and agreed with the doctor. She then has booked me on a CBDT course and tryin to get me some councilling.

So another hard week being off and no improvement which actually I think I was worse the doctor has signed me off for a month and increased my medication. This was a real kick and I was so nervous about being off but he said you need to get better.

So again I emailed my boss attached the doctors note and was trying to be very positive. (IÂ’m always concerned that people automatically think that your looking for another job or just faking). He responded two days later saying I can confirm receipt of this email.

So that was 8 days ago. Things have been hard but today especially I thought IÂ’m feeling a little better and managed to get out the house for an hour. When I got home I noticed an email from my boss.

The letter says that given the duration of my absence (8 days) they would better like to understand my fitness of work.

In my contract it states that at anytime they can request I have a medical examination and to have any subsequent medical report to be disclosed to them.
Therefore they propose to refer me to a occupational health practitioner to obtain a report on my health and fitness to work.

Basically I have 5 days to respond or I am in breach of my contract.

I was completely shocked to see this email and now feel like I did that day I broke down. I meant to be off work to get better but now IÂ’m just going to spend my time worrying about my job security and what this appointment will intaiil.

IÂ’m not sure if itÂ’s just because of he depression but I feel this not a great way of helping me. Am I over reacting?

IÂ’m just not sure what to do, IÂ’m so concerned about my job which then makes me concerned about finances and what would happen if IÂ’m sacked.

It would be great to have you opinions, advice etc.

Thanks

Dan