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Thread: Not sure what I am, I argue with my thoughts a lot

  1. #21
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    That's awesome! Well done lovely! So glad we could help! What a brilliant Drs!
    Today I aim to be the best person I can be.
    That mean that yesterday or tomorrow I might be a better person,
    but today's best is more than good enough for today.

  2. #22
    Update (sorry for how long it's been)

    Sorry if this sounds like a bit of a (possibly ungrateful) moan

    I sent the benefit Tribunal a copy of the letter I sent my GP about my depression, the letter was a re-written version of the posts I wrote in this thread.

    Wont bore you with the details, basically the Tribunal said my GP lacks knowledge of me having only been my GP for just over a year (with full access to all my records unlike the Tribunal) , I'm lying, and I'm occasionally rude to people. Was a complete waste of time me going, as I hadn't lost my temper with my GP for example, they said there was nothing wrong with me, I tried explaining that before I see my GP I'm concentrating on remaining calm as I am now etc, but it fell on deaf ears.

    As I attended my own sons uni graduation, my best friends funeral and my son and daughter take us out for dinner on our birthdays, I'm, also social according to them,

    I tried explaining that I avoid people at all costs, again fell on deaf ears.

    I told them my GP was trying to get me to talk to wellbeing and is altering my depression and pain meds, that translated into "claims he's in pain yet no pain referral........"

    Anyway, end result is no benefits and unable to work, so money is really really really tight, which doesn't help my stress (or my wife's). But at least UI can forget about dealing with them now.

    After sending the letter about my depression to my GP, when I went to see her, she was concerned about me, but stressed that I really really do need to pluck up the courage to contact Wellbeing as they work in partnership. She also increased my Duloxetine to one in the morning and two at night, and also refereed me to a sleep clinic.

    So I finally plucked up the courage to contact wellbeing, I sent them a copy of the same letter and stressed "PLEASE CONTACT ME BY EMAIL ONLY" that was on 7th March.

    A few night later, my wife answered the phone then came over to me and said "It's Wellbeing"

    I reluctantly took the phone, spoke to a nice polite person who said they do phone appointments for the first consultation and arranged a date/time.

    This didn't help me much as I hate being put on the spot /talking on the phone.

    Anyway, the appointment date arrived, I spent about 2 hours preparing myself mentally for it, the guy phones me up and is a really pleasant guy to talk to.

    In his credit, the first thing he said is "I see you don't like talking on the phone, if you want I can arrange a face to face appointment instead". I said "I've built myself up for the call now, and as I'm talking to him, we may as well go ahead.

    The call lasted for about 40 mins, and he suggested him referring me to a positive pain management group, and possibly referring me for CBT at a later date, then asked what I thought abort that choice. I said that's fine (not sure what else I could say, but am happy for a pain clinic anyway).

    A few days later I received a letter from him stating what we had decided.

    In the letter he had scored me as follows.

    PHQ9 (depression scale) 18

    GAD7 (anxiety scale) 13

    And I also had a questionnaire to fill out asking me

    1) Did staff listen to you and treat your concerns seriously?
    2) Do you feel that the service has helped you to better understand your and address your difficulties?
    3) Did you feel involved in making choices about your treatment and care?
    4) On reflection, did you get the help that mattered to you
    5) Did you have confidence in your therapist and her / his skills techniques.

    Well I'm not too sure how I'm supposed to fill that one out, I've been given one option, and dont know yet how helpful it will be.


    And all went quiet for a few weeks.

    Then the phone rang (my answering phone is permanently on, saying all calls are screened and to leave a message if they want me to get back etc) and it came up "Private Caller" in the display. Usually when that happens it's my GP surgery, but I ignored it anyway. Then straight away it phoned again, again "Private Caller", so just in case I picked it up and it turned out to be the therapist again (why he couldn't leave a message I don't know)


    He said they could no longer refer patients for main management clinics, and I would need to contact my GP.

    He then made two other suggestions Wellbeing could do for me.

  3. #23
    continued:

    First, the most awful suggestion I have ever heard, them to arrange me to go out for a coffee with someone else who has been through depression. Probably wont put this into the best words, but:

    when I told my wife, she said "he obviously don't know you at all"
    I made it very very clear in my accompanying letter I don't like talking to strangers.

    The thought of having to meet someone I don't know that isn't a qualified therapist, over a coffee in a public place and talk about my illness, well some of you might well find this sort of thing helpful, it makes me want to run a mile.

    When I said "not a chance", he seemed a little taken aback I thought it such an awful idea.

    2) Telephone support for behavioural Activation that if I understood him correctly is a sort of automated thing where I press a number depending on my answer etc.

    I said I would give it a go (was put on the spot, wasn't expecting him on the phone etc)

    And sure I'm being unfair as I haven't tried it yet, but I just don't feel like I'm receiving proper therapy/help to get top the root of my problem, just by randomly phoning me up makes me have little confidence in them.

    So, I received another letter (saying "Following our first appointment", just like the first letter did) saying I had been added to the waiting list for step 2 1:1 Telephone Support for Behavioural Activation, along with another questionnaire.

    I'm not going to fill out the questionnaire saying I don't feel it's helpful when I know it will be the same person contacting me again in the future.

    I had to wait two weeks for an appointment at my GP, had it this morning. They were more than happy to refer me to a pain clinic.

    I've had a thing connected to my nose and finger while sleeping for a night and have an appointment with the sleep clinic in June.

    Not sure what else to say at the moment. I feel more pi$$ed off than depressed if I'm honest, I'm not sure I really have confidence in Wellbeing, if after reading the letter I sent them, they really thought I would be happy meeting a stranger for coffee, then I kind of feel like I'm wasting my time, but at least the process has been started.

  4. #24
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    I know that it is frustrating, but I'm sure they are doing all they can. Services are really stretched.
    Did you tell your GP about it today and ask if there is anything different they can refer you too? Have you checked things like mind in your area?
    Are you not appealing the tribunal?
    Today I aim to be the best person I can be.
    That mean that yesterday or tomorrow I might be a better person,
    but today's best is more than good enough for today.

  5. #25
    Thanks Suzi

    I tried to appeal the Tribunal, but I can only appeal if there is an error in law, not because I disagree with the outcome, and they refused my request to appeal.

    I didn't get to see my GP for the referral, it was a advanced nurse practitioner, very nice, happy to refer me.

    I think I will leave things as they are for now, do the phone thing when I get an appointment and take it from there. If I then feel I'm not getting anywhere, I can look into other things.

  6. #26
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Sorry about not being able to appeal.
    Glad you have a plan in place..
    Today I aim to be the best person I can be.
    That mean that yesterday or tomorrow I might be a better person,
    but today's best is more than good enough for today.

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