Hello, I have just found this site. I have and am suffering with depression and anxiety for many years, on and off, although have been taking medication all the time. Just recently, I have slipped into another bout of it and it feels worse than ever. I have asked my GP about alternative medication maybe helping me more, and he has added diazepam 2mg to the Venlafaxine I have taken for years. I retired from work a couple of years ago as I could not cope with the stress and responsibility any more, but have tried a couple of temporary jobs since then, both lasting three months before I felt I could not cope any longer. In the last few days I have contacted my local mental health team and am on the waiting list for CBT, although I have had this before and found it really hard going. I have been told if I don't feel it is helping me, I can switch to counselling. I am home most of the time on my own as my husband works. He has seen me like this many times over the years and is not very empathetic. He just says I need a job, but at the moment, although I do trawl the internet for local jobs, there is not one I feel I could do and, even if I found one, do not have the confidence to apply. I have shutdown from friends and family as I do not want to be a burden, and suicidal thoughts have entered my mind, for the first time. I just feel a complete failure and have no purpose. I cannot eat or do basic tasks at home. Everything just seems pointless. I hope I have posted this I the right place.