Hi all,

I have recently been diagnosed with depression and I am taking fluoxetine 20mg and have been referred for talking therapy.

I feel I have so many things going on in my head - that I don't know what to do or where to turn. I believe I am suffering from work related stress due to the fact that this is where all my anxieties seem to stem from. I have been confiding to a friend from work who I seemed understood how I am feeling. After a conversation today they have had a conversation with my line manager about me. Nothing detrimental about me but more about what I am trying to deal with at the moment but some of my stresses have been down to my line manager. I really don't like the fact that this is going on but I don't know how to deal with anything at the moment and the thought of confronting them about this has just stressed me out so much. I want to have conversations with work when I am ready to be able to discuss them without bursting into tears every time and not feeling immense panic and not being able to think straight or have a productive conversation.

Quick rundown of main work stresses:-
- 6 different line managers in 4 years
- moved jobs within same school 4 times in last 4 years
- been on a temporary contract for 2 and a half years
- despite requesting for a proper job description on numerous occasions still none the wiser
- new line manager seems to like micromanaging which makes me feel undermined and undervalued

Due to this feel completely useless, worthless can't even be bothered to get dressed most days, no interest in anything, have had some strange dreams and these have normally been about me ending my life but I always wake up from these in a panic as this is something I don't think about when I am awake.

I feel really scared and don't know what to do or where to turn. I have an appointment with my doctor on Monday and I think work are expecting me back next week but not sure if I am ready for this!!! As per usual not sleeping again.

Sorry for the really long post but no-one at home seems to understand how I am feeling.