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Thread: Support

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    In what way did it get difficult?
    Trgger warning

    Hi.
    It was difficult as I am very non confrontational, whereas my wife is not. She was getting very agree that there was no real offer of help. Change the meds and wait for a few weeks is what I always get, but realistically what more can they do? Mental illness just does not play by the rules.
    We have actually talked today (my wife and I) as I had a complete meltdown. We did agree that things are not right between us, but we can sort it out.
    Unfortunately for me I seemed to have hit an all time low and my only real way of feeling better is believing I dont have to continue. I am unlikely to act on this as I know what it would mean to others, but for some reason, it calms me down.

  2. #12
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Oh sweetheart
    Do you want to talk about why you had a breakdown? What about something like RELATE? Would you both be willing to give it a go?


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  4. #13
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    I am not sure what the latest bout is, but the common theme is work. Where I work is not too bad, paid well and doing okay, but for years I have panicked about meetings and staying away. The problem is that the anxiety is so strong that it can litteraly leave me a wreck (like today). It is so rediculous that not being here at all seems preferable to having to cope. I cant give work up as we would be in financial trouble very quickly. I also know if I stopped, I would focus on something else as the problem. Ever decreasing circles kind of thing. Also as I have said, work is actually not at all bad compared to many. I am quite high up in the company and I feel like I have cornered myself by having to act at a certain level where all I really feel capable of is a far more menial role. I got an email about a meeting on the 30th that is within 100 mile from home so quite easy for me, but I felt like I had to do anything rather than go.
    I've never had a meeting where anything has gone wrong, but my mind tells me it is impossible for me to go. This then feeds the depression.

  5. #14
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Can you analyse what it is about the meeting which is causing your anxiety to peak?


  6. #15
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    Not really. One of my fears is I lose my job, house family. It is the same fear I have had for years. I just cant see why that thought continues and why it feels like I have no options but to end it all. When I am at my worse (every day for the last week, not all day but for a few hours at best) it feels like I have no alternative. It is only the thought of leaving my children that holds me back. I cant understand why I dont think about my own self worth. I'm okay this evening but dont want to go to bed for it all to start again Tuesday.

  7. #16
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Remind me - are you on meds? Have you spoken to your Dr about how you are feeling honestly?


  8. #17
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    Just back from the docs. I was able to tell the doctor honestly as I had a small meltdown in the room. He thinks that I am under medicated for the severity of where I am. I have been on 45mg of Mirtazapine for about 5 months. He has said he will speak to the psychiatrist to see what medication I should be on but suggested fluoxetine. He has also referred me to the local psyc team for support. Being NHS I am not sure of what timescales we are talking about, but I feel a little better than before I went in. I had reached a point where I felt completely hopeless.

  9. #18
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    It’s horrible when a meltdown happens but im so glad it it meant your doctor could see what it’s really like. Try to be kind to yourself for the rest of the day, a morning like that is going to take it out of you
    ‘When all else fails, use glitter instead’

  10. #19
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I know it was horrible, but it really was about the best thing that could happen so that he could see how things really are. Well done lovely. I hope you're resting and being kind to yourself.


  11. #20
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    Doctor called today and said he had talked to the local psyc team and they have suggested adding 50mg of Sertraline to my current 45mg of Mirtazapine. He has also referred me for some therapy sessions with the same team. It has been a nasty week to be honest. As of Saturday morning I will be on both drugs. I have re read a book by Dr Mark Lewis and it has given me some good stratergies. Just got to put them into practice. Problem is when you are low, there seems to be so little hope.

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