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Thread: Support

  1. #1
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    Support

    Hi all
    I am having a pretty hard time at the moment and I think some of it is returning to work after the break. I have very few friends and the ones I do have are 100s of miles away. Even then it is not really something I can really discuss with them. On Sunday night I spoke to my wife about how I felt and she basically said things are not right and you need to sort yourself out. Go and see the GP. She is very much the sort of person who is of the "Snap out of it" school of thought. It pretty much has made me feel un supported. She has had to put up with alot at the beginning of last year so I do understand her "tiredness" of the whole thing. My question is; where do others find support if not through family or friends?
    Thanks you for reading.

  2. #2
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    You have support here, you can try local Mind groups, the Samaritans, your GP for a referral to counselling?
    There's only us, There's only this, Forget regret, Or life is your to miss,
    No other road, No other way, No day but today. (Rent. Jonathan Larson)

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    Grey haze (05-01-18)

  4. #3
    It's something we have to come to terms with .... it's incredibly hard for people 'outside' of your own head to understand what depression is and how you feel.
    My wife is very much in the same position in terms of me trying to explain to her .... still don't think she does ....

    But in the first instance definitely seek some professional help .... speak to your GP ... they will help .... also look at what counselling resources are available (GP can help if you can't find via google) - try "gloucestershire nhs talking therapies" .... its how i found my local one .... you can then generally 'self refer' to the service. Someone will call you to assess and discuss needs.

    GP will / can refer you too anyway ...

    The issue is that we cannot simply 'snap out of it' or just 'be happy' ... It is an illness .... you wouldn't tell someone with any other visible illness to just 'get better' but because this is hidden and, for me anyway, i function normally to the outside world, it's much more difficult for people to see .... i hide mine incredibly well so people had no idea i was screaming / collapsing inside my head

    Hope you can get help soon .... please go to GP as soon as you can ... it's 1st step

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JamieW For This Useful Post:

    Grey haze (05-01-18),OldMike (05-01-18)

  6. #4
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    Thanks Jamie. I did have some dealings last year, but had real difficulty arranging suitable appointments. I will try them again as I am feeling pretty lousy at the moment. I think my wife has just had enough of my flipping between short tempered and then a jibbering wreck. Nearly impossible to understand unless you have been there. I too am quite good at masking my illness from work, but it is now starting to be very difficult. I am much better in company so do try to get to the office rather than work from home. Problem was on Thursday it took all my will power to not drive past the office and hide in a wood or somwhere else.
    I have anticipatory anxiety that nearly cripples me and even though I get constant proof that it never ever is as bad as expected, every meeting invite makes me feel dreadful. I need to get my medication looked at again but in 25 years, I have never been on anything that workes for any length of time.

  7. #5
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Then it's definitely time to talk again to your GP and maybe ask to be referred for psych as they can access different combinations etc...
    There's only us, There's only this, Forget regret, Or life is your to miss,
    No other road, No other way, No day but today. (Rent. Jonathan Larson)

  8. #6
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    I not sure really how to tackle the issue with the GP to be honest. I always go in with the expectation that I am asking for the impossible (in ten minutes anyway). I have an appointment Tuesday so will see what we can come up with. In the meantime just a case of grinding on.

  9. #7
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Can you either go in with bullet points written down or maybe try to book a double appointment (Holy Grail I know...)? Can you take someone with you?
    There's only us, There's only this, Forget regret, Or life is your to miss,
    No other road, No other way, No day but today. (Rent. Jonathan Larson)

  10. #8
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    I took my wife a few months ago and it got a bit difficult. I will try and put some bullet points together prior to the appointment. It takes about 3 weeks to get an appointment a 20 min session is probably a few months. I think if I do get some bullet points together it will help. Thank you

  11. #9
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    In what way did it get difficult?
    There's only us, There's only this, Forget regret, Or life is your to miss,
    No other road, No other way, No day but today. (Rent. Jonathan Larson)

  12. #10
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Have you looked at the Time to Change website? If you can talk to your wife about the information they have there, it might help?
    “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe

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