Hi Everyone,

New to this whole thing, and only recently after 3 years have i been able to open up about it all.

A relationship of 4 years broke down after i was struggling to deal with my problems and pushing my ex partner away. Self Harming and suicidal tendinsies destroyed it. The break down hit me extremely hard and i have struggled to cope every since. I cannot seem to let go even though part of me says to but the other doesn't. My Psychiatrist believes i am living with guilt of pushing her and my children away. Social Services became involved due to be being in a mentally unstable position. They were not removed but i was classed as risk. I still blame myself for this and will do for some time but i keep being told only by letting go will i make a good recovery. Only problem is it is not as simple as people say, i have children with her we did everything together and one day its gone. Truth is i think if she every fell pregnant by anyone else it would tear me in half. That is one thing i am continually worried about.

My EX partner though since the split has not been the greatest. She uses me for money to take her places. Likes to give me the hope of us getting back together and then at the last minute take it away from me. She has sent me various pictures of my children with another man with a comment "Kids with their new daddy" it ruins me but for some reason i cannot let go.

I just need a none professional opinion because to be honest i am really struggling recently.

Sorry for the essay

Tom