General musings and random ramblings *TRIGGERS*

[Suzi]

Actually I'm the only one of all 5 of us who HASN'T moved back in with my parents for an extended period. My sister moved back in with my Mum a couple of years ago and her and her children are still there and she's 38 this year. It's not something that is an exception to the rule anymore.

J? If it's right then it's worth it. True love never runs easily and smoothly. Marc and I have struggled in the past with both of our health, and things have been far from straight forward or easy. But I adore every bit of him and so no matter how difficult it is I'll carry on fighting for him. Do I think I deserve him? F*** no. He's way better/braver/stronger/more good looking/funny/awesome than I'll ever be. But that's how it is and I'll take it....

[Angie]

Moving back with parents is getting really common believe me the amout of customers we have that cancel there contracts because of this reason is higher than you might think sweetie x

[Paula]

Onto ‘you don’t do much around the house’ ...... you look after your mum, you take her to all her appointments (practically a full time job right there), you deal with her medication, you nag her to make choices that would improve her life, you bake for crying out loud - you’d be paying your full board doing that alone in my house! What you do for her is something not many would do, and that’s care. Where’s your brother and sister when that has to happen?

[Jaquaia]

My brother takes her to her appointments in Shorpe but that's it, though he lives in Grimsby. My sister does nothing, never has really. Neither of them have ever offered to go with her to an appointment so I can have a break.

[Suzi]

So maybe you aren't as useless as you think you are.....

[Jaquaia]

It's not really hard to sit and listen to the doctor.

[Paula]

You have got to be kidding! We’ve seen how much those appointments take out of you, how exhausted and stressed you are and how long it takes you to recover! It is hard to do that, yet you never say you can’t do it

[Suzi]

Ahh, but that's just it. It IS. It's not "just" listening to the dr is it? It's getting her up, medicated, dressed, to the appointment, sitting for the waiting time, listening to the Dr - telling them about things that she doesn't mention, explaining things to her, getting her home, making her lunch, trying to stop her from harmful behaviour such as smoking and setting the house alight.... Then it's going round and round in your head..... whilst you try to get on with so many other things that need to be done. That's all whilst also fighting your own pain, chronic illness, demons in your head, guilt, exhaustion, anxiety etc etc etc
Don't ever tell me that all you do is "just listen to the Dr"....

[Mira]

Maybe, but its not easy either.

Last week when I had my appointment with my therapist after we were done I thought that I came across realy superficial, like the most shallow person ever. And normaly I would not say that but last week I did. And she told me that she did not think that at all. And then she said that superficial shallow people do not need to see a therapist. And after thinking about it, yeah thats true.

I come and read your thread. And I can read that you are smart and caring. A allround nice person. And you where talking about you should work and you should do this and that. To me that makes you genuine. Because you want those things but at the moment its not that easy getting those things done. That puts you miles ahead of all the people that use other people. People that take advantage of other people because they are lazy and superficial.

So maybe sometimes you could tell yourself, hey I am ok. There are people that like me. So I am a likeable person.

[Jaquaia]

I just feel so utterly worthless and completely alone today. I don't want to be alone but I feel like I deserve to be.