General musings and random ramblings *TRIGGERS*

[Suzi]

I don't think it's cowardly to or not to take that way out - but I hope you never do because no matter how you feel about yourself you are loved and wanted...

[Jaquaia]

I'm just so tired of fighting. I always try to be the best person I can be and all I seem to do is suffer, I can't even do being a woman properly. Yet people go through life treating others like and get everything they want. How is that fair?

[S deleted]

I hear ya mate. It sometimes seems like the way to get ahead in this world is to be a complete

[Paula]

I can't even do being a woman properly.

Where has this come from?

[Jaquaia]

I don't know. It was just in my head last night

[Suzi]

In what way can't you be a woman properly?? I ask because I've felt that so many times.......

How are you today gorgeous?

[Jaquaia]

I haven't had a period since mid-September so couldn't even do pregnancy, I have thinning hair and hair that grows where it shouldn't. Not exactly the most feminine of looks I have!

I'm better then yesterday but still pretty low and very, very irritable, snappy and on edge. Still wish I hadn't woken up but not thinking of ways I can achieve that at least. J is popping to see me soon. He tried to get someone to cover his shift so he could come with me this afternoon but there was no one available. I'm just touched he even tried.

[Suzi]

Do you have anyone to go with you?

Sweetheart I really wish I could take those horrible feelings away from you.. Thing is, you're much more woman than so many I meet....

[Jaquaia]

And there we have it. I'm not ill enough to see a psychiatrist, the meds aren't working because of my personality and my self harm isn't proper self harm.

[S deleted]

Your personality?