General musings and random ramblings *TRIGGERS*

[Jaquaia]

I think so!!

[Suzi]

Cool beans..

[Jaquaia]

Woken up feeling pretty low today. It seems to be a constant cycle at the moment and I'm tired.

[Suzi]

Am working on your list

[Jaquaia]

You know it's been a bad day when tears are never far away and when going over the bridge, your only thought is how inviting the water looks.

[Suzi]

Oh angel

[Suzi]

Would you like the list so far or would you rather wait till tomorrow when you might be feeling brighter?

[Jaquaia]

Now is fine xx

[Suzi]

This is a quick list... It's not complete and I haven't checked through it... I don't mean to upset you in anything I've said..

Jaq:

• Mood swings - often, violently swinging to extreme to extreme with little happening to justify that change
  
• Irritability - excessive and very short tempered
  
• Extreme low self worth
  
• Self neglecting behaviour - not eating and drinking properly - risk taking behaviour - urges to spend money
  
• Severe depressive moods
  
• No interest
  
• Pain
  
• Fatigue
  
• Doesn’t want to burden anyone with how you are really feeling.
  
• Feels a failure
  
• Doesn’t think she’s worth being treated with respect
  
• Convinced she is worth no more than being used and abused
  
• Struggles with being around people, but also craving company
  
• Feelings of wanting to die almost constantly
  
• Has planned several ways of ending her life
  
• Struggles with accepting help/support from anyone
  
• Over independent - would rather go without than ask for help
  
• Feels incredibly guilty for asking for help from GP
  
• Has no idea why anyone would want to be her friend
  
• Emotions are linked to other people - more dependently than would be expected.
  
• Lack of concentration
  
• Lack of self care
  
• Struggles to stand up for herself
  
• Struggles to say exactly how she feels
  
• Not open about how things really are
  
• Feels little purpose in seeing 2ndary services as they haven’t been of help previously when she’s seen them
  
• Feels that she’s going crazy
  
• Been told previously that she’s not ill enough for 2ndry care, yet gp needs help
  
• Tried many medications
  
• Keeps most traumatic things locked away and refuses to talk about them

[Jaquaia]

Wow! I can't argue with any of that!