General musings and random ramblings *TRIGGERS*

[Jaquaia]

I have had a drink and semi-calm. I'm very aware that tomorrow is Monday which means the day after is Tuesday amd I have to go see the nurse prescriber...

[Suzi]

Maybe the nurse prescriber will be a positive thing? I know it doesn't stop you worrying about it though. However, I normally find nurses much easier to talk to and they seem to "get it" more than consultants!

[Jaquaia]

The problem I have is I've only ever seen nurses from secondary services and they've been awful!

[Flo]

The problem I have is I've only ever seen nurses from secondary services and they've been awful!

Is that awful 'nasty' or awful 'incompetent'? I tend to agree with suzi.....my experience has been the same, but I can understand that by the law of averages there must be nurses that just aren't up to it! Let's hope on this occasion that you're pleasantly surprised.

[Suzi]

There's good and bad with everything, but maybe this one will be different for you.

Did you get any sleep?

[Jaquaia]

Flo, the CPN who did my last assessment told me the meds might not be working because of my personality and that my self-harm wasn't proper self harm. 2 months later I still have a very noticeable scar on my arm yet it's not proper self-harm. I did it in front of her as I'd gotten so overwhelmed I'd switched off and scratched my arm raw and she didn't even ask to see. The only reason she agreed to ask the nurse prescriber to look at my medication is because I completely broke down, snotty, unable to speak crying broke down. I'm assuming that the nurse prescriber must have seen some merit to seeing me.

Suzi, I slept. Not well but I did sleep. I got told off by J just before 5 this morning as I was awake and replying to his message! Finally fell back to sleep around half 6 and was off and on til 9.

[Suzi]

Glad you got some sleep lovely. What do you have planned for today?

[Jaquaia]

J is on his way so yay! Snuggling!! then studying for an hour or 2

[Suzi]

Hooray for snuggling!

[Jaquaia]

Had a few wobbles today. I feel very lucky that I can have those wobbles and all he does is hold me and reassure me until I feel a bit better, even if he won't stop bugging me until I admit what's wrong. I've never felt so loved and cared for in my entire life. I just wish the wobbles were less often.