Hi guys,

Hope you're all as well as can be.

Just looking for a few independent opinions about the current relationship I have with my sister as I'm really miffed.

I'm 45 yrs old, live on my own and have a long history of suicidal depression and anxiety, particularly social. I had another breakdown in October and with a new healthy life style, medications,CBT and ACT am dragging myself out of it slowly. I have low self esteem.

The relationship with my sister, two years older, has always been fractious. She lives on her own nearby. Over the years she has routinely damaged my self esteem by repeatedly criticising and questioning my illness, not paying income tax and the fact I rely on some benefits. I currently don't work but an trying to get back into employment when well enough.

I made a stand last yea about the constant rudeness and personal criticisms and said we cannot have a relationship like this. We didn't see each other for 9 months at my doing to get the message over after repeated requests. Since then she has improved a bit but maybe half the time still abuses me for not paying tax. This happened again last night even after I gave her a Xmas card and offered to help with jobs at her flat. She was drinking, which usually makes her worse, and eventually walked out of the bar without a goodbye. I think maybe as she cannot control herself to not stay and be even more rude. She's a Tory and generally anti benefits.

Anyway, the criticisms are really hurtful, humiliating, demeaning and very corrosive to my self esteem that I'm trying to rebuild through therapy. I'm quite vulnerable at the moment.

My question is, how can I deal with her? I need to think about my health first right. Shall I just not see her again. The message to not abuse me hasn't hit home with her. I've felt really depressed today and have had pain attacks all day due to her attitude last night.

Sorry for going on. I'm just at the end of my tether. Thanks for reading.

Matt