When I used to see Dr J he would let me ramble on for most of the session and write stuff down as we talked. He would somehow tie everything up towards the end of the session including medication or future visits. He was rather special and excellent in his field. I don't think I will have someone who is quite so brilliant again.
I hope that whatever your psychiatrist says to you works for you
Sounds like a good session and you sound fairly comfortable about it...
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Is there any chance that a psyh will prescribe continuous all expenses paid holidays to Orlando?
I'm sitting here now on the sofa and can just start to feel a little anxiety/sadness creeping in and the pressure of "It's the weekend, this is where you're supposed to enjoy time away from work as part of your work life balance - this is supposed to be the good bit..." yet knowing thi sis unlikely to materialise, nor do I have the energy/will to make something happen.
Another description I conjured up today that might resonate with others is that when I'm in what is a traditional 'happy place', what ever that may be - Christmas morning watching the kids open their presents, a summer afternoon BBQ with family, relaxing by the pool on holiday etc.... in that whilst you might be smiling, whilst you might be going through the motions of being happy, that beneath the mask, you know that deep down inside, something's just not right. That you can't fully relax, you can't let go, you can't give in and be happy, as if doing so is to somehow release control, somehow saying everything's ok, when it's bloody well not... that no matter how 'nice' this event is, you can't just enjoy it for what it is as you know that soon enough, it'll be over and everything will still be awful again afterwards?
Or is that just me being a miserable sod?
He asked me how long ago it was when I was happy/content for any length of time and my answer shocked me. I was 7 years old.
Sorry for venting.
Hi there,
Well done for attending the appointment and it sounds like it went well.
Reading your last comment, it sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Also, please don’t apologise for letting your thoughts and feelings out on here as you are amongst friends. You are doing brilliantly maintaining your job and it is great that you are very much involved in family life. It is vey good that you reaching out for help. Your description of putting on a front will resonate with many of the people on here. Living with a mental health condition is incredibly exhausting so it is really important for you to be kind to yourself. Keep on chatting to us as we want to listen.gif "(nod)")
One day at a time ....😃
Not sure there's enough room in the NHS budget for that, but wouldn't it be awesome?Originally Posted by Ovalbug
Never be sorry for venting. It's better to get it out of your head here than leaving it to fester...I'm sitting here now on the sofa and can just start to feel a little anxiety/sadness creeping in and the pressure of "It's the weekend, this is where you're supposed to enjoy time away from work as part of your work life balance - this is supposed to be the good bit..." yet knowing thi sis unlikely to materialise, nor do I have the energy/will to make something happen.
Another description I conjured up today that might resonate with others is that when I'm in what is a traditional 'happy place', what ever that may be - Christmas morning watching the kids open their presents, a summer afternoon BBQ with family, relaxing by the pool on holiday etc.... in that whilst you might be smiling, whilst you might be going through the motions of being happy, that beneath the mask, you know that deep down inside, something's just not right. That you can't fully relax, you can't let go, you can't give in and be happy, as if doing so is to somehow release control, somehow saying everything's ok, when it's bloody well not... that no matter how 'nice' this event is, you can't just enjoy it for what it is as you know that soon enough, it'll be over and everything will still be awful again afterwards?
Or is that just me being a miserable sod?
He asked me how long ago it was when I was happy/content for any length of time and my answer shocked me. I was 7 years old.
Sorry for venting.
So what things are you doing this weekend?Who are you spending time with?
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
That's part of my problem I think, or a symptom of it.
I'm not doing anything and will sit on the sofa until I go to bed on Sunday night for work next morning. That is my life. I'll be in the house whilst my wife and kids potter about, but essentially nothing will happen.
I don't have any friends and as my work role is field based, the couple of colleagues I get on well with live hundreds of miles away, not that I'd really want to socialise with them.
My role in life appears to be to get up early, work flat out all day as the main bread winner, get home any time between 6 - 8 pm depending on where I've been in the country that day, flop on the sofa fatigued, then repeat.
We don't go out anywhere and don't do anything.
There is no fun, no reward, no interest. I am bored to the point of tearing my hair out like a bear locked in a cage rocking back and forth.
The concept of doing this until I retire and then die makes me want to vomit with fear.
The natural reaction would be "Well go out and do stuff with my family....." not so easy.
I have two pre-teen children, one with special needs, the other who is not interested in going out and about, plus on the very odd occasion we do manage to get them out, they fight, argue, moan and complain and make it an utter misery for us all - there is literally no point in going out, other than to end up stressed to bursting and the kids arguing. Plus, they never want to do anything, go anywhere, or on miracle that we can get them both to want to go somewhere on the same day, they never want to do the same thing. As I say, the one with special needs amplifies this situation enormously. We are not the typical, happy-go-lucky family.
As for family, we only really have my mum and Dad who are now elderly and have very limited capacity to help/cope with the kids, especially due to the special needs element so we can't just drop them off with the grand parents for the day whilst we swan off to have a nice time - it just isn't that kind of dynamic. There is no other avenue for support, and the special needs is not severe enough to warrant official assistance.
What are my hobbies?
I love watching boxing on TV - big deal. I get an hour of TV to look forward to every few months if there's a big fight on. Hardly a social life or 'recreational distraction'.
I love classic cars and in days gone by have often had an old classic in the garage to tinker with, but financially that is not something we can support anymore so my avenue is watching car shows on Discovery to at least watch other people having fun with cars, or I'll watch bits and pieces on youtube - but I've pretty much 'finished the internet' now and have exhausted any potential avenue for enjoyment. It's like being a tap dancer with no shoes - you can only watch so many other people tap dancing. Plus, I don;t have the mental capacity to even think about tinkering with a car - as soon as I dropped a spanner on the floor, I'd collapse in a heap of despair, thwart and frustration, such is my inability to cope.
Plus, my social anxiety makes the concept of 'take up a new hobby and go out and meet people' an impossible proposition.
I have only just got out of bed having stayed there as long as possible. If I'm in bed, I'm at least cosy and comfortable and not reminded of how bored and miserable I'm feeling.
Even this 'victim' T shirt is starting to annoy me.....
#braindump
Thing is, things will only stay the same unless you make a definite change.
I have 3 children each with special needs of one description or another and physical disabilities myself and my husband with depression, social anxiety, panic attacks etc... We've found that actually we need to suggest places to go or things to do and rotate it so that everyone gets to have something they prefer etc... Things like cinema at the weekend - they do cheap childrens shows which are more relaxed. What about going for a walk in the woods? You can download things like nature spotting bingo type sheets or maybe go on a dinosaur hunt or something?
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
I know - we just need to get the kids to stop arguing, bickering etc.
My parents treated us to a week in Majorca last year which we really needed, yet the kids made it a real challenge to the point we both agreed that we'd not bother again, even if we could afford it. It's not that they're ungrateful, they both appreciate things in their own way, it's just that they can't occupy the same space without the whole sharing, taking it in turns, he said, she said nonsense that starts up. They're both so utterly strong willed and hell bent determined, they simply will not back down to each other no matter what we do. We've been out before and threatened to cancel the trip, turn the car round and go home if they don't stop bickering, and they'll continue so we have to follow through with the threat. Next time we remind them of the threat and what happened last time, and they still carry on, so we turn round and go home again with at least one of them in tears. It's no fun for anyone. We have never been out as a family and come back all in agreement that we had a nice trip out.
But, that all assumes I'm up to it, which to be honest I'm not at the moment. Not only lacking any motivation to move, but then even if I can drag myself off the sofa or out of bed, I'm already at the end of my tether before we start, so as soon as the kids begin to even think about creating, I can't cope and spiral. I had to walk out of Lego Land on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
I'm a terrible parent. Or at least not in a fit state to be a good parent. It makes me so sad.
My kids argue and bicker all the time, it's just something I think most siblings do.
Maybe you need to tell them that it's not about them, you're going out and whether they like it or not! Maybe build in little treats along the way?
Lego Land is a nightmare place!
Are you based near me? Have you tried things like Alice Holt?
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
I’m with Suzi, my kids would go at each other non stop - and I remember me and my brother doing the same. That’s normal. To help, we had a two screen DVD player in the car and/or got them to put their earphones in and listen to their own music for the journey
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
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