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Thread: Don't know where to turn or what to do

  1. #41
    Ovalbug
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    One thing i struggle to do is isolate exactly what anxiety is.... here is a list of some of the negative emotions I feel and frequency I feel them - perhaps someone could point to which ones are official anxiety?

    Generally sad and un-motivated - Every day.
    Not wanted to answer the telephone or front door - 95% of the time.
    Hating crowded social situations - weddings, parties etc - 99% (unless I know and am comfortable with most of the people there).
    Sudden raised heart rate and tingling in my palms, as if looking over the edge of a building from a great height - few times a week.
    Not being able to sleep, heart rate at 120 bbm all night, no sleep, nauseous with fear, loose teeth, bleeding gums, trembling - once last year, for 3 weeks.
    Torment, frustration and a sense of being held back / thwarted - most days.
    Despair and helplessness with thoughts of suicide - sometimes every day for a week, other times a couple of weeks without.
    Lonely (in my soul) - most days.
    Inability to relax and just enjoy something for what it is, without micro-analysing it or knowing that it'll soon be over and my problems / sadness / frustrations are still waiting for me as soon as said event are over - all adult life.
    Inability to relax and let go - all adult life.
    Seeking validation and approval for all that I do - all adult life.
    Scanning every situation for threats/triggers and steering to avoid - all adult life.
    Dark thoughts about seeking revenge on those that have crossed me in life, school bullies etc - all adult life.

    Anxiety?

  2. #42
    Ovalbug
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    Oh, missed one.... feeling near the end of my rope and close to losing my temper and feeling irritable - most adult life - I guess part of scanning for threats and constantly feeling on the defensive or under attack from everyone.

  3. #43
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Going by my husband's symptoms most of those can be attributed to anxiety and the low mood etc to depression - however they both fuel each other which makes it difficult to deal with.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    Arty (28-12-17)

  5. #44
    Hi, How are you doing? hi)
    One day at a time ....😃

  6. #45
    Ovalbug
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arty View Post
    Hi, How are you doing? hi)
    Not bad today, thanks for asking.

    I'm in a fairly upbeat mood as I've avoided all possible triggers. Yesterday was a really bad though so its very hit and miss, day by day. I pulled it round yesterday by forcing myself to the supermarket to help my wife with the weekly shop in the afternoon after sulking in bed 'till gone 11am. Whilst there I bought fresh ingredients to make a curry, so when I got home I could focus on something positive, with some help from a few bottles of beer.

    I think my position is one of huge vulnerability and fragility, where it takes very little indeed to tip me over the edge and for me to then spiral into despair.

    I can't help but ponder what the outcome of the psych evaluation will be - one assumes a different medication other than typical front line SSRIs?

    I feel like I'm tip toeing round life and walking on my own personal egg shells.

  7. #46
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I’d definitely say go in with an open mind - psychiatrists can give options for treatment that a GP can’t and I’ve certainly been surprised by suggestions from my pdoc in the past
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  8. #47
    Well done for making the curry. Keep on being kind to yourself, take each day hour by hour. Happy New Year!
    One day at a time ....😃

  9. #48
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Completely agree. Try not to pre judge what you're expecting - go with an open mind.
    We're having curry tonight too! Happy Curry night! Happy new year!
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  10. #49
    Ovalbug
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    This morning I had my appointment which turned out to be an initial clinical assessment, before being referred to a psychiatrist. I was with the chap for about 45 mins where we covered pretty much every angle of my mental state, both current and historic.

    I tried not to self diagnose or put words in his mouth, nor was he willing to hint at any diagnosis, other than he said that much of what I had spoken about was covered under the broad spectrum of depression.

    I guess my next session with the psychiatrist will be more conclusive - anyone able to comment on what the psych session will cover that wasn't covered today?

    We spoke about drugs I'd tried at which point I respectfully said that my own research has pointed towards Wellbutrin (Bupropion) being a potentially suitable drug, to which he admitted that it was a common one they try off-label under secondary care - there is hope!

    I've been back in work this week, so too busy to feel down during the day, therefore it's taken longer to kick in of an evening as my body and brain slows down away from work.

    I explained today when quizzed about how I feel less depressed in work that it's a bit like an airline pilot coming into land a plane in a thunder storm, with high winds and poor visibility - the pilot is too busy and focused to feel anything other than to 100% concentrate and perform on the task in hand - only once the plane is at the gate and the engines are shut down can he or she then reflect on how they are feeling.

    Hope that makes sense?

  11. #50
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Completely makes sense. As to what the next appointment will be like, that varies from doctor to doctor in my experience. Just try to remember that they’re qualified and experienced in their field so their diagnosis and opinion on treatment is vital but you also should be able to have a say in what happens going forward
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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