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Thread: Who to talk to??? **su triggers**

  1. #1

    Who to talk to??? **su triggers**

    I'm kinda feeling really alone right now ....
    I really am nervous at posting much on social media anyway cos i don't want work people to know how much i'm suffering .... feel it would somehow compromise my position

    But i tentatively started sharing some posts that'd had been up for awarenss and other stories ..... just to see if anyone reacted...

    Then my mom was rushed to hospital a couple of weeks ago with a blood clot ... she was in there for a few days and has been pretty much on thorough rest since ... so the days she normally looks after our daughter after school hasn't been possible, neither have sleepovers for the kids which they really enjoy.

    Anyway - one of the posts i'd shared was a story about someone who feels suicidal but doesn't want to die.... which is kinda how i feel.

    My dad told me on the way to the hospital that sharing that post "had scared them both half to death", especially my mom, and that post had been a day before her clot .....
    So now i'm feeling like i made her feel worse.... now i feel like i can't even post anything .... that i can't talk to them cos my mom's now more fragile than before.....

    I can't talk to my wife about this because she's becoming more a part of the problem ..... and the one person i'd been reaching out to recently has drifted away

    Worse, my feelings are getting more that i just don't wanna live like this anymore.... just when i think things might be easing or changing - something else throws a curve ball

    Yes i know this week has been especially bad as i've been off work ill and in pain because of it ..... but i feel more that the darkness is closing in and isolating me more than even before .... feels like leaving everything behind isn't the worst option anymore

    Can't get referred to counselling cos i'm on a 3 month 'cool down' now w/ nhs

  2. #2
    Moderator of Awesomeness magie06's Avatar
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    The best thing about this forum is that you can talk here. Sometimes it takes a while to get an answer, but don't look at that as a bad thing. If there is no one else to talk to, write it here. Use this like a diary, and when you next see your GP, just print out what is written here. It's a great tool and very useful if you don't see your GP frequently. Your GP can see immediately how you've been and can talk you through your options.

  3. #3
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    There are these helplines
    http://www.dealingwithdepression.co....UK-amp-Ireland

    And there's also the Samaritans and as magie said, there will always be someone here to listen
    Tn prdu, jhami s rcbro

  4. #4
    Got 2 more days off work (lucky someone can cover for me)..... then weekend and 1 more day before i go away for 4 nights

    That might give me the space to reflect in the evenings in solitude and peace
    Just don't have much fight in me this week.... don't think i've been this low before ... just feel i need to get away but i know that's not possible in any meaningful sense

  5. #5
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Where are you going? I are you going with friends or family?
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Where are you going? I are you going with friends or family?
    Going away for a training course with work ... 4 days in Reading in a hotel. Just me

  7. #7
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    But it's with work, so will you be socialising together?
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference.

  8. #8
    To be honest.... very likely not.... My social anxiety will kick in.... i will be ok with them during day but i'll retire to my room in the evening

  9. #9
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Any chance you could push yourself (and yes I know it's really hard) to maybe be social for a bit? You never know, it might be good?
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference.

  10. #10
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I know just how hard it would be to push yourself in the evening, and how exhausting, but its important to take those extra small steps whenever we can find it in us
    Come on everybody, join in the QUIZ, I need the competition!

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