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Thread: Hello from thisisme

  1. #1

    Hello from thisisme

    Hi :-) I've just joined the forum and thought I'd introduce myself quickly. It's actually quite tricky writing this as I virtually feel like a fraud - I see what others on here are dealing with on a daily basis and I'm amazed at their strength; I've not been diagnosed with depression, not on meds, not spoken to my doctor etc. But I feel trapped in a situation and have symptoms (tiredness, apathy, a sense of worthlessness etc) associated with depression.

    I know exactly the cause of my depression - work. I've worked for the same company for about 18 years now (I'm mid 40s) initially in a technical role in a office. About 12 years ago a lot of work was transferred offshore, the net result meaning that my skill levels plummetted. About 4 years ago I became home rather than office based, not my choice. Others seem to have coped with these changes a lot better than me - I guess a personality / outlook thing.

    Now I'm in a situation where I sit at a desk at home all day, dreading being called to meetings or becoming involved in work where I feel I'll make mistakes and cause myself even more problems down the line. My work confidence is near the floor. Yet I don't feel I can leave as I no longer have the current skills needed elsewhere. How would I pay the bills..? Argghh...!!

    I know that one thing I need to do is to put work into context, into it's own compartment. Yet I still get a strong sense of dread most mornings and, whilst I have a lovely wife and son who are the centre of my world, I don't really have friends or hobbies to throw myself into, that's just the way I am. I'm thinking that I need to pluck up some confidence, get myself out a bit more socially and try and also try and build some current work skills. Easier said than done though..

    Thanks for listening, sorry if it was a bit long :-)

  2. #2
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome to DWD. Can I ask why you haven’t spoken to your doctor yet? You’re not a fraud, how you feel is important, your feelings are just as valid as anyone else
    I believe if you wear enough pretty lipstick, sparkly jewellery and great shoes, no one will notice the size of your ass

  3. #3
    Hi Paula, thanks for the response. I've never found GPs to be particularly approachable.. I can't help feeling I'd get an eyerolling response, even though they've actually been quite supportive to my wife with regards depression she has suffered from. But you're right - I should probably try that.

    But in fact there's something else I should be doing to help myself. My company actually has a "WellBeing" policy around mental health, and I should probably approach them as work is actually the source of it! However, I can't help that think, whilst they have a policy and all good messages at a high level, nothing constructive would come of me approaching them and instead (behind doors) I'd get the same perceived eyerolling response. Maybe I'm wrong but I've tried speaking to my line manager previously and not had much success.

  4. #4
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    You shouldn’t get an eye rolling response from your GP. It can help to ask for an appt with the GP that specialises in mental health - they should have that resource available. If your employer has a Wellbeing policy then you should take advantage of it if you can - not every employer has something that visible in place. Mind have produced a resource with tips on how to approach your employer and what you should and shouldn’t say https://mind.org.uk/information-supp.../#.WgsrBLqnyf0
    I believe if you wear enough pretty lipstick, sparkly jewellery and great shoes, no one will notice the size of your ass

  5. #5
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome to DWD. I completely agree with Paula - going to the GP is a good starting point, but also talking to the Wellbeing team would be a really good plan too. They will know more about the inner working of the company etc...
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

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