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Thread: Looking for Reassurance (SH Triggers)

  1. #1

    Looking for Reassurance (SH Triggers)

    We got a new lead manager at work a few months ago and he's told me not to have lunch or tea breaks with my friends and not to sell my books to anyone during my lunch breaks, both things his predecessor was OK with.

    Now my most recent book was written to raise money for the National Autistic Society and was only on sale to other members of staff, not to the customers. I did have some posters up in our library area to inform customers that my books exist and where they can purchase them from.

    The manager's reasons for his decisions are that my actions and books are "inappropriate".

    So talking to the only people at work I feel safe with is "inappropriate".
    Encouraging people to read and write is "inappropriate".
    Raising money for the N.A.S. is "inappropriate". (other staff are allowed to raise money during work time for their chosen charities)
    Encouraging people to go public with their creativity is "inappropriate".

    I just need to know if he's right or wrong. I don't want to hurt my friends. As far as I can tell, nobody had complained to him, but that's not impossible.
    I've been locking myself in the toilets and drawing blood just to try and think straight.

  2. #2
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    I'm not sure how they can stop you having lunch with people. Do you have a union?

    Have you let your doctor know about the SH? I'm not going to tell you not to do it, it's a coping mechanism, however unhealthy it is, but sweetheart, can you promise me you're keeping the wounds clean? I really think you could do with some extra support right now.
    Tn prdu, jhami s rcbro

  3. #3
    I'm in a union, but they haven't really helped on the lunch issue. I don't know why my friend's department was moved to the room opposite my office, only for me to be told not to go in during allotted breaks. I wouldn't disrupt their work by socializing with them while they're not on a break and their manager likes me around because it motivates everybody.

    I can't imagine what the boss' rationale is for this decision, but he must have one or he wouldn't be the boss. I don't want to disappoint my friends.

    I've been washing the wounds on my legs with hand-soap and covering them with elastoplasts. It hurts a bit when taking them off with all the hair, but it distracts me that bit more.

  4. #4
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    How and why is it "inappropriate?" I don't understand how having lunch with others is "inappropriate" - although that does depend on what you do for a living - for example if you were having lunch with a group of thieves but were a police officer for example..

    Have you seen your GP and told them how bad you are feeling and that you are harming? Sweetheart, there has to be a more healthy way of coping?
    You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  5. #5
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    Ahhh I think I see the problem. So although you are on your break your colleagues are still working? I can see how that be a distraction and understand why your boss doesn’t want you disturbing them. Can you not align your breaks?
    The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

  6. #6
    No, our breaks are at the same times. I have the option to take mine at slightly different times, but it's not mandatory.

    I'm not sure what I should say to my GP. My friends were there for me when I was suffering with depression the first time and the prescribed medication had only made things worse.

  7. #7
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    You could try a different medication? What about counselling or CBT?
    You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  8. #8
    I'll call my GP and hope he's got some appointments available soon.

  9. #9
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    That sounds positive. Why not call today?
    You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  10. #10
    I called, but he has no appointments available until mid November. I've booked the earliest he's got.

    I also asked my union rep if it was unfair to ban the sale of my book for charity when cake sales for another charity are allowed. I was told not to bother. I guess the book must be extremely offensive, but that's not what I was trying to write.

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