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Thread: New here - Feeling completely hopeless

  1. #1

    New here - Feeling completely hopeless

    Hi everyone,

    I hope this doesn't come off as too much of a rant, but I'm really upset, frustrated and feel lost and hopeless.

    I lost all my friends at the end of high school for various reasons. I did feel pretty down the last year or 2 at high school, and I've had social anxiety for as long as I remember, but I always thought that feeling down was just a stage - me feeling sorry for myself - and that all 17 year olds feel this way and I'll just snap out of it, meet friends, get a girlfriend, find a job like others do.

    Next thing I know, I'm 25 years old and I've yet to make a friend, I've still not had a relationship and I have a job where I work from home and have no real interaction with others. At this point I realised I'm not just feeling sorry for myself and something is very long. It was frustrating because I felt that I wasted my best years pretty much just watching tv in my bed and working at home, not doing anything with anyone.

    I sought out help and for the next 5 years I saw a number of therapists and took various medications for depression and social anxiety. I wouldn't say they didn't help at all, but I never felt like they did. The main change was that I started to talk to people in public. I felt like I needed to make changes and I would talk to people that I felt I may have things in common with. Like talking with a guy waiting for a movie to start at the cinema, a girl looking through some comics in a comics shop -- kinds of things I'm interested in, where I felt like I could have a genuine conversation. But none of these ever progressed to anything. After talking to hundreds of people without any success - by success I mean, getting a number, a date, seeing that person again - I started to feel like there's something really wrong with me on a personal level. Is my personality really that bad that nobody wants to talk to me? Am I really that ugly that no girl is interested in me?

    I recently turned 30 years old and I am beginning to lose hope in life altogether. I know 30 isn't old, but I had to come off Facebook because I was just getting upset at seeing all the people I went to school with happy in their relationships, getting engaged, married, having kids, moving in to their first homes together, etc. And here I am, alone, having not had anyone else in my life since I was 17. It's hard to see the point of getting through the day. I wake up, for what? To go to work and make money for what? I feel like there needs to be a point to something to go on with it and it's getting harder and harder to wake up in the morning. I'm sick of feeling like this, I'm sick of crying myself to sleep most nights out of sheer loneliness and I'm sick of hating everything about my life.

    I'm so lost at the moment. I don't even know what to do. Life has to be more than this.

  2. #2
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this . ....Do you have any hobbies or interests that could help you get to know a wider circle of people?
    I believe if you wear enough pretty lipstick, sparkly jewellery and great shoes, no one will notice the size of your ass

  3. #3
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome to DWD. Going by your first post, there doesn't seem anything "wrong" with your personality - you seem intelligent and friendly.

    Are you still taking meds? Seeing a therapist?
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  4. #4
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    Hi ksw.
    Something that I have decided I am going to look into is support groups locally. I have a few friends, but I live miles away from most and rarely see them. The online groups are great but the idea of meeting other sufferers does now make sense.

  5. #5
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    welcome to DWD
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

  6. #6
    Thanks for the welcomes and replies everyone.

    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Hi and welcome to DWD. Going by your first post, there doesn't seem anything "wrong" with your personality - you seem intelligent and friendly.

    Are you still taking meds? Seeing a therapist?
    I'm not currently seeing a therapist or on medication. I tried about 4 different medications for a long time and my doctor just concluded that they weren't really working, as I didn't feel any better.

    As for a therapist, it hasn't worked for me either. My last one stopped because I got a new job and they couldn't find time for me.

    I think though that my depression is mostly situational and talking to someone and medication can not change that situation, so both are a waste of time/money/effort.

  7. #7
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    There are loads of different meds and combinations that could be used to help if your medical team think it's worth it - you sound pretty low and I'm wondering if it might be worth revisiting at some point?
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    There are loads of different meds and combinations that could be used to help if your medical team think it's worth it - you sound pretty low and I'm wondering if it might be worth revisiting at some point?
    I could try meds again, but as I said above, I just don't think it's something that would help. The things that make me feel the way I do are things that actually exist, it's not just my head being in the wrong place.

  9. #9
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    I know what you’re saying, I’m pretty much the same, but just because it’s a real situation doesn’t always mean that your response to it is completely rational. Medication could offer that added something to reduce a extreme reaction. I still lose the plot on occasions over the small things but I know that without my meds I’d be a total mess.
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Hi and welcome to DWD. Going by your first post, there doesn't seem anything "wrong" with your personality - you seem intelligent and friendly.
    I second Suzi here!!! You sound like a nice guy

    I understand what you mean about chatting to people, it can be so tough! Do you still work from home? If so, have you thought of working in a café/library maybe once a week? A friend works in cafes etc as it gives him a break from the house and a quick chat with a barista or fellow freelancer everyday

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