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Thread: I am depressed and I think I know why. But?

  1. #1
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    I am depressed and I think I know why. But?

    So I have had depression since the 90s and it has been in and out but leaving me anxious to a manageable, but difficult level.
    I believe this to be due to a feeling of worthlesness. I feel I have managed to gain everything I have through luck and me tricking people to stay employed. I have always had this expectation that I will get found out and I will lose everything. That is a very simple view of things, but it is basically how I feel.
    If you have depression for a reason like that, is medication or therapy going to help if I genuinly feel that way. This is where the anxiety always kicks in as I wake up every morning thinking today is the day I get rumbled. The problem is I become very subservient and make mistakes at work when I am in the middle of an episode and it gets noticed.

  2. #2
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    Is it the lack of self worth that has caused depression or is it a symptom of the depression?
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

  3. #3
    Hero Member OldMike's Avatar
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    Lack of self worth is a symptom of depression, I suppose you can get in to a cycle where lack of self worth worsens your depression and your depression lowers your self worth and so on.

    Having read what you've posted some sort of talking therapy/counseling may be beneficial but you need to see your doctor to discuss your options.
    70 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

  4. #4
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Why do you think you are going to be rumbled?
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  5. #5
    I'm sure it is a feeling that you don't deserve the success that you have achieved which you do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ElizabethJane1 View Post
    I'm sure it is a feeling that you don't deserve the success that you have achieved which you do.
    I suppose it comes down to a couple of things. The main one is that I have been working at the same place for 25 years. In the early days (just prior to my anxiety and depression kicking in) I was seen as a shining star. Since the anxiety kicked in, I avoided meetings and courses and slipped back. I have had periods where I did well, but the anxiety always held me back. I have turned down promotions and kind of trod water for long periods. As I have been there a long time and I am paid well for what I do. In comparison to others doing similar jobs very well. I feel that at some point someone is going to say "Why are we paying Mr GH this much and someone else far less for the same job?" And probably quite rightly too.

  7. #7
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    But you've been there for 25 years, if there was a case to "rumble" then they would have done so by now! You are obviously respected and valued enough to still be there and to obviously doing the job well...
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

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