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Thread: Daily Struggle

  1. #11
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Sorry for being blunt but you are not going to get better until you admit you need help. You need to see a GP as soon as possible and you need to deal with your feelings about what happened with your wife - which might mean relationship counselling either together or on your own. I know you want to get better otherwise you wouldn’t have reached out to us but it’s time to get some solid support sorted. If you don’t, ultimately your relationship with your children will suffer.
    I believe if you wear enough pretty lipstick, sparkly jewellery and great shoes, no one will notice the size of your ass

  2. #12
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    I have to be honest and ask you why you are staying with your wife? You aren't sharing a bed, you are hurt (understandably) and can't move on from her affair (Again understandably) and so I'm wondering what you are gaining positively from the current arrangement?
    If you're sleeping on the sofa, then no wonder your sleeping isn't good and with all this internalising all it's going to do is eat you up and destroy you from the inside.... You have to sort this....
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  3. #13
    Because if I moved out my kids lives would change drastically and for the worse. I'd lose my home. I'd miss the cats. I'm not prepared to let my children down. It isn't as bad as it sounds, we get on and I love her as weird as it sounds.

  4. #14
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    How would you be letting your children down lovely?
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  5. #15
    One of them is independently educated and it has been so good for her - her learning, her confidence, her self esteem. This would be the collateral damage and she would never forgive me. I don't want to be the person that initiates it.

  6. #16
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Kids pick up on negative emotions coming from their parents. I found this out a long time ago when my 7 yo thought I was dying because she sensed I was ill but didn’t know why. By keeping the status quo as is, I believe all you’ll manage to achieve is having your kids instantly on edge and scared about what’s happening with their parents.
    I believe if you wear enough pretty lipstick, sparkly jewellery and great shoes, no one will notice the size of your ass

  7. #17
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Completely agree with Paula.. I'm quite convinced that in situations where there is a lot of tension then children aren't actually better off at all. They deal far better with things being spelt out in age appropriate ways so that they know what's going on, but not that they caused it etc.....
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  8. #18
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    I’ve stayed out of this so far but I know first hand how staying with someone for the sake of the kids is actually far more harmful than a split. I thought I was doing the right thing by them but I was so wrong and ultimately it cost me my family.
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

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    Suzi (13-10-17)

  10. #19
    The GP who told you to man up needs a serious reality check.
    Your run of bad luck seems even more appalling than mine. I don't blame you for feeling broken. I hope you are OK, my friend.

    Tom

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