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Thread: Setback *Triggers* *SU SH triggers*

  1. #521
    JustEM
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    Hi Suzi,

    I'm okay. A bit flat. A bit meh. Having depression symptoms I haven't had for aaaages which is weird. Don't want to get up in the morning and I can't even be bothered with the pots.

    I'm exhausted. I feel like I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep for a month but I never feel refreshed from it.

    Bit peed off and impatient about not hearing from any jobs yet. Closing dates are this week so I just need to be patient.

    Dealing with my thoughts alone as the MH team are about as useful as a block of ice in a hot oven. I've received no support from them since my referral in January. Since being discharged from hospital, I've been told I will have a phone call next week with a date for a meeting to discuss what support I can be offered. Lots of talking about support. Erm, no support actually given though hahaha!

    Still, I can do it alone. And my family are awesome. I would tell the CMHT to do one but it seems they already have!! Pa hahaha!

    Getting up and out now. This depression can do one and all.

  2. #522
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    In trauma calls in A&E, doctors and nurses are always conscious of distracting injuries - eg, the open leg fracture that everyone focuses on because it looks nasty that distracts attention away from the collapsed lung itms. Maybe, your eating problems has distracted you and your doctors away from depression so it’s only becoming obvious now your physical health is improving?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  3. #523
    JustEM
    Guest
    Think you're right there.

    Depression came first. Not eating helped me cope and made me feel 'better'. Then my physical health became the greatest concern. Complying even though it's good for me now makes me feel worse mentally because being 'thin' was to my head the only thing I had going for me. It was all about control.

    Just want my mood to lift. Depression is way worse and harder than an ED for me.

  4. #524
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I thought there was something up as you've stopped posting everyday... See I do notice things!

    I think you're trying to battle so many things that I'm not surprised your mood isn't great and that you're completely exhausted... I bet you haven't done much resting and pacing since you got out of hospital either.... How many boxsets have you binge watched?
    When was the last time you got out of the house even just for a walk? When did you last get in contact with any of your other mates - I mean those who aren't based here
    Maybe you need to find something more healthy to control?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  5. #525
    Queen of Crafting magie06's Avatar
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    Hi there. Just calling in while I'm waiting on the dinner to say hello. I hope things are a little bit better today, and that you aren't as tired as you have been. I remember what that tiredness feels like, like everything around you is made of treacle and you are trying to wade through it. That no matter how much sleep you get your body still craves more. That everyday feels like you've just run a marathon. And of course there is all the guilt - that you can't do anything you want to do, that you can't do anything you need to do and that you can't do anything you would like to do.

    The only thing I can say is that it does pass. It takes a long time though, and it doesn't happen overnight. Up to last year I was getting up and getting Aisling to school and coming home and falling asleep until lunch time. And still not feeling refreshed. But I started slowly by staying up one day a week and increasing it by one day each couple of weeks. Like I said it took ages, but I got there. I even think sometimes I've gone too far the other way. I wake at about 3 or 3.30 in the morning and only doze until the alarm goes off. Swings and roundabouts eh?

    Have a lovely day and take care.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to magie06 For This Useful Post:

    Paula (12-11-17),Suzi (12-11-17)

  7. #526
    JustEM
    Guest
    Thanks Suzi.

    Think it is just mental exhaustion. My parents both think I've lost weight but if that's the case it honestly won't be from trying.

    I'm actually binge watching The End of the F***ing world on E4. It's oddly quite good! I next to never watch TV so it's nice to chill. I do get out every day.

    I don't have any mates around unfortunately, but I'm grateful for all you lots support obviously!

    Having a good focus in my life will enable me not to rely on the ED behaviours. I'm trying with the pots and job applications. Hoping to hear something back soon.

  8. #527
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    There seems to be a massive trend atm for craft fairs etc and I think your pots sound perfect for Christmas presents for teachers etc. How much are you charging? Are you on Facebook? Have you set up a page and joined some of the handmakers groups? I'm in a couple of really good and busy ones and I'm happy to add you if you're interested? What about etsy? Facebook selling groups? Do you have any pictures of them?

    Are you still taking the supplement shakes? What about eating? How's it going - honestly please..
    I can't believe you haven't got mates around you? You are lovely, funny, intelligent, kind and all the things that are positives so I'd have thought you were seriously popular! You deserve to be!!

    How are your parents?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  9. #528
    JustEM
    Guest
    Hi Magie,

    How was your day?

    Glad the sleeping has improved with you.

    Hope everything is well xx

  10. #529
    JustEM
    Guest
    Thank you, I will keep that in mind definitely. I'll see the response to the pots in the stall at the end of the month first. Thanks a lot!

    Things were going well with the supplements. Gave myself a couple days off because I feel like crap but that's to be expected.

    Thanks. Wish I had mates. I'm able to make friends easily. I just don't know anyone and have struggled to actually meet others my age.

    Feel like I'm going around in circles. I want this to end and things to come right. I got to the bottom and went to hospital and now I'm out I'm just where I was before pre-admission.

    I know if I hear I get an interview this week that my mood will lift. I know I shouldn't let my mood depend on that but the fact is it will.

  11. #530
    JustEM
    Guest
    I forgot to add! My parents, in terms of being a support, are incredible. I'm so grateful for them.

    But really, they're struggling. We all are. My dad hates his job and everything is fixated on that. He can be a real misery because of it but he won't do anything about it. I think he actually kind of likes and hates the job if that makes sense?

    My mother is going through the menopause bless her. She's emotional anyways, but it's more so more. So they pick at each other and snap and sulk a bit. It's never anything bad, but it doesn't take much for one of us to get stressed, upset or on the defensive.

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