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Thread: Setback *Triggers* *SU SH triggers*

  1. #31
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Well done for talking to your employers, hunni
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  2. #32
    JustEM
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    Thanks Paula.
    People can really surprise us. Mostly people are so supportive and understanding!
    Hope you've had a good day today? x

  3. #33
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    That must be so hard having fought an ED and being faced with fish and chips everyday... You're made of tough stuff love. Well done for talking to your employers! You should be proud of yourself.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  4. #34
    JustEM
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    Thanks Suzi Need to put my mental health and well being first. Hey, don't we all?

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  6. #35
    JustEM
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    Ugh. Another set back today. Feeling pretty ty as a consequence.

    I've been on a real high this last week, have been doing lots of things I really enjoy and working so hard on my therapy. Anyways, found out today that there's been a massive mess up with my visa that puts me £450 down. I've basically chucked that money to the Indian embassy for nothing and I'm not exactly in a place to be throwing five pound notes around, let alone hundreds of pounds!! Also got rejected for a bursary after being given the impression I was going to get it which means I also don't have enough money to stay there long-term and I've used all other fundraising methods so long-term volunteering in India is not to be an option for me any longer in the near future.

    I was gutted and angry more than anything. Had a mad urge to self harm but shouted a load of expletives instead which seemed to do the trick. Contacted my support team and now I'm aimlessly walking off the rage.

    Feel like I am right back at square one AGAIN. I hate square one.

    I've got friends visiting the UK for the first time coming from America tomorrow to stay with me for a week. Everything is ready for them and I've spent all day today pre- news baking for them. They know I've been ill and they did invite themselves to stay with me actually and we have a great week planned, but to be honest I already feel like I can't wait for the 10th August to come when they go back home so that I can just BREATHE!!!

    I still want to take a short 1-2 week trip to India on my current visa if possible because I need peace and closure with my feelings of failure around my experience there last year, and then I guess I need to really start sorting my life out by establishing what I want out of life locally. I have the MH support around me to do that now whereas I didn't when I was trying to settle down, get a real job and move out last year. I just feel like I've wasted so much time between then and now.

    Guess life will just keep dealing sometimes and I've got to choose to deal with it until the next load comes at me or lie under it and wallow. Thankfully, I no longer lie under things, but I just feel so exhausted with it all.

  7. #36
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Oh hunni, I'm sorry it's not worked out well - can you call them and change things around with regard to your visa?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  8. #37
    JustEM
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    Yeah... It was a bit of a blow. I've decided I'm going to cancel my visa application when I get home tonight. I will lose the money either way. It's their policy. Seems unfair but there's nothing I can do about it.

    This leaves me two options. One, take a short trip to Calcutta for 1-2 weeks on my current tourist visa that expires at the end of this month. At least I would then be able to make the peace I need to make during that time so I can just move on. I could also really do with a holiday after this last year haha! Then I could come back, re group, and settle down at home establishing what I want out of life here locally.

    Otherwise, I could get another visa and fly out for a few months maximum but I won't get away from the fact that I will again have to return to square one back home and start over.

    There are a lot of work, Church-based and voluntary opportunities in my nearby city centre open to me that I know I could immerse myself into and enjoy. For example, last year I got an interview for an apprenticeship at a lovely little nursery. It wasn't the right time then but after this news today I contacted the manager as the same position is again available and she was happy for me to re submit my application. It's for a September start...

  9. #38
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    It sounds like you've loads of options available to you.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  10. #39
    JustEM
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    Yeah. Bit of a setback but it's about learning how to bounce back from them.

    Feeling a lot more positive tonight and accepting of it all. One foot in front of the other as always.

  11. #40
    AndThisTooMustPass
    Guest
    news Em. I'm gutted for you but I am massively impressed with how you are responding. You never cease to impress me. Sorry you are getting stressed over your friends visiting, I'm sure there will be so many positives that the stresses will melt away once they arrive.

    The holiday sounds great! You are right, you really deserve it.

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