Setback *Triggers* *SU SH triggers*

[JustEM]

Thank you everyone. Your kind words and support really mean a lot.

I spoke to my mam about hospital just now. I think everyone seems to think it's the best option for me. I don't have a quality of life living this way.

My mother hugged me and said crying 'I don't want to lose you'. If I can't do it for me, I can do it for her. She's amazing. I won't mention the water shakes as I know it will only upset her and now I'm more open to hospital and having others get me well so I think telling her would only upset her more. I could tell her if I'm in hospital though, I just don't want to further upset her.

I will definitely let you all know how I get on tomorrow.

Thank you all again so much xxx

[Suzi]

I promise you that you being open and honest will her will be much better than anything she's already thinking.... Tell her lovely, she's amazing and she deserves it as much as you deserve the help and support.

[JustEM]

I can't tell her now, Suzi.. But I am currently drinking a supplement and watching telly with her. The water thing won't happen again. She's coming with me tomorrow, too.

Thank you xx

[magie06]

Best of luck for today. Thinking of you.

[Suzi]

Thinking of you today gorgeous..

[Paula]

Huge hugs sending your way, lovely

[JustEM]

Thanks ladies!! Means a lot!!

Despite more nutrition and no activity this weekend, I lost a kilogram today and my bloods are showing abnormalities. They said it's because the nutrition is going straight to my organs that I'm not gaining the weight.

First thing the OT said to me was that what I've been doing 'was not good enough'. Feeling not good enough is at the very root of why I first went into my eating disorder so after hearing this, I flipped. I told her I felt let down by the service. My mother was at my side and let me rant away, bless her!

I'm meeting with the clinical lead of the hospital ward tomorrow to discuss options. I really don't want a feeding tube so we are going to discuss if things can be done orally and at home. My mother wants me to be at home too, but if the doctor says it's best I'm in hospital then so be it. I'm prepared for it now.

Just had a bone scan and more bloods. Fun times!

Feeling okay though. I just want my life back now

[Suzi]

Oh hunni... I'm sorry that it's not going how you need it to. Did you open up about the water substitution? The pain?

Are you OK love?

[Paula]

[magie06]

This is not the way you wanted it to turn out but the ball is in your court now. You know how to get better because you've done it before. You've been here twice before and twice before you've beaten this and got healthy again. I believe in you and I know you can beat this again. Good luck tomorrow and I'll be thinking of you.