Setback *Triggers* *SU SH triggers*

[JustEM]

Thanks Jaquaia!

Sometimes you've got to get worse to get better, I think. But it feels like the decision is coming from me to get well.

It's still a little scary because my head tells me if I gain weight, I'll feel worse. But I've been here (and worse!) before and I've beaten anorexia twice previously so third time bloody lucky!

Hope all is well with you xx

[magie06]

Well done you. That is such an amazing post. You DO know where to start and you bloody well went and did it. The relief must be tremendous, you've made the start, all you have to do is follow through. Well done again.

[JustEM]

Thanks so much, Magie.

Onwards and upwards now. Taking each day as it comes now. It's probably going to be a long road ahead, but today was better than yesterday so that's a good start.

I do feel relieved and I'm sure I'll feel better when my body starts feeling healthier, too.

Thanks for your support. xx

[Suzi]

I'm SO proud of you!!!! Well done lovely!

[JustEM]

Thanks Suzi. Means a lot.

Had a big chat with my mother tonight and she is the first and only one I've opened up to about WHY I stopped eating - as a form of self-destruction due to the depression. I wanted to die but would never take my own life so figured if I stopped eating, it would be something else that took my life. She said I really need to be telling the professionals this so Friday I will tell the OT and my therapist. I do feel relieved.

Will let you know how the weighing goes tomorrow x

[Suzi]

Can your Mum be with you when you see the OT? It's brilliant that you've started opening up to her about it all.

[JustEM]

Yes, definitely. My mother would be more than happy to be there. She's a great support for me. I used to feel she was out to get me too but my therapist helped me overcome massive issues around her and I feel we now have this understanding that the illness is something separate to the real me. I'm so grateful for her.

[Suzi]

That's awesome.

Good luck today lovely.

[Paula]

That made me cry, I'm so proud of you. I know you can do this and we'll be waving pom-poms the whole way

[magie06]

What have you planned for today? Something nice for you I hope.