Venturing out of the dark *TRIGGERS*

[Jaquaia]

Yes. And as luck will have it, tomorrow afternoon. I'm on 20mg paroxetine. I know something will be done, even if it's just an increase, as I was doing my mums meds earlier and found myself thinking that 400 paracetamol would do the job. I'm not saying that for the shock factor either as it doesn't feel like it's me writing it.

[Suzi]

Sweetheart, should you be doing your Mum's meds if you are feeling that way?

[Jaquaia]

She can't physically manage to do them herself. I'll be ok, and I will tell the doctor, they're just passing thoughts, not really important.

[Suzi]

I disagree, I think it's really important.

[Jaquaia]

Apparently they're only important if I'm thinking of acting on them. Just like SH isn't anything to worry about if you're only scratching your skin.

[S deleted]

Jaq, what the doctors say about those things. They matter because there are people who genuinely care about your well being and I for one would hate to think of you hurting yourself in any kind of way.

[Suzi]

What time is your appointment?

[Jaquaia]

It was half past 3 but got in early. He's increased the paroxetine to 30mg and I'm to go back in a month.

[magie06]

I'm glad that you were seen by someone today. And it sounds like someone is listening to you at last. Keep going, you've been quiet around the place recently and I missed you. Good luck with the increase in meds and please be careful when doing your mum's meds. I for one know I'd miss you around if anything were to happen to you.

[Jaquaia]

I've had nothing to really add magie. The 2 doctor's I see are brilliant so I tend to stick with just them now. If I'm honest, I'm completely detached at the moment. These dark thoughts don't feel like they're mine. Today I've done a wash and got it on the line, washed the pots and dealt with the shopping and it feels like I was an observer.