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Thread: 1st time hit with depression my hubby

  1. #1

    1st time hit with depression my hubby

    Morn all Im self employed been married 16yrs with 2 boys uptill now we have always been happy and always sorted out any minor problems that come & go until now. so much has happened in last wk to the point I have thought & thought about him & realised he could be depressed! 3wks ago he had met up with some of his mates he hasn't seen 4 sometime & came bk really upset he had told me they had told him he he should b disgusted with himself 4 putting on weight & what has actually happened 2 him? He's left himself go & he's not the same person we know. I tired saying something positive by he u feel like that go 2 the gym? Or it happens 2 us all when we get comfortable in life. Then after a wk also his moods were on & of 1 day he b fine the nxt horrible, until last wk he accused me of cheating. I never have or would at 1st I laughed but he was screaming at me mental I could c in his eyes he wasn't that person. So nxt few days I sobbed & tried reassuring him I want but he wasn't having any of it. His reasons 4 saying I was didn't make sense. I told him I'd do a lie detector test he wasn't having it. I mention about his mates that he's not been right he just laughed & said this has nothing 2 do with them. So on Wednesday another sleepless night as he's not sleeping or eating properly and looks crap. I mentioned 2 him at breakfast that u might b depressed or having a breakdown he agreed & say I could b. he has doc appt on this wed, but in meantime I am trying my best to spend more time with him keep making conversations. I have a good day with him & come nite it starts all bk again he will ask odd questions & call me a liar constantly. I just want my old husband bk! :cry:

  2. #2
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Oh sweetheart Welcome to DWD.
    You aren't alone and I've been at the point of crying more times than I care to think about regarding my husbands mental health.

    Sweetheart all you can do is what you have done - you've told him you love him and you're there for him and you've managed to get him to get a Drs appointment which is a hugely positive step.
    For the record though - who needs enemies when your friends are so vile to you?
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  3. #3
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome. Absolutely the best thing to do first is to see his dr, so it's good he's agreed to go. How's are your sons coping?
    I believe if you wear enough pretty lipstick, sparkly jewellery and great shoes, no one will notice the size of your ass

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Paula View Post
    Hi and welcome. Absolutely the best thing to do first is to see his dr, so it's good he's agreed to go. How's are your sons coping?
    My boys don't know my eldest (13) knows something up but I've just said he's having mood swings later maybe he misses havibgvtime with u (as kids get older they don't want u so much as before) & my hubby is all hands on dad.

    I think we have a good day and then comes. Edtime it's like 10 steps back!

  5. #5
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    Have you thought about talking to the boys about it? I know that once I knew what "it" was then it meant I could talk about things better. At 13 he will know and will have heard far more than you think he has - I learnt that one the hard way.
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Have you thought about talking to the boys about it? I know that once I knew what "it" was then it meant I could talk about things better. At 13 he will know and will have heard far more than you think he has - I learnt that one the hard way.
    Thx suzi I might tell him if he starts asking at the min I don't know how much I can take. He (hubby) gives abuse on anything and this morn is was cause I don't switch the fan of he went mental calling me everything.

  7. #7
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    There is NO EXCUSE for anyone to treat anyone else that way. Depression doesn't make you behave like that at all. You do not have to take it.
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Billie View Post
    Thx suzi I might tell him if he starts asking at the min I don't know how much I can take. He (hubby) gives abuse on anything and this morn is was cause I don't switch the fan of he went mental calling me everything.
    I feel so desperate I haven spoken to my sisters but no one understands, I just feel so down at the min 😩

  9. #9
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    You really do need to get some support in place for you too....
    “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
    - Jon Kabat-Zinn

  10. #10
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I believe if you wear enough pretty lipstick, sparkly jewellery and great shoes, no one will notice the size of your ass

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