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Thread: How can I offer support?

  1. #1

    How can I offer support?

    I have a depressed partner and I don't know how to be supportive when she 'closes down' on me. She has had a previous break down (prior to our relationship) and was on medication for a good few years. Around 2 years ago she reduced the medication (with doctors advice) and is currently not taking any medication. She is hanging on by a thread most days I think, puts on a face for work and the world but on 'down' days would rather not be here. She won't seek help in the form of counselling as feels it didn't work before (post breakdown) and won't see GP either. I'm at a bit of a loss. We live in each others pockets, so to speak, and work together too. I don't know if this is magnifying things? I have previously been depressed and counselling helped me so I am quite aware of my own mental health and that I have to take care of it. I love this person so very much and on good days she says she loves me and to ignore anything she says to the contrary when she's down. But it's starting to feel a bit like emotional abuse. If it was a friend in my situation I'd tell them to run for the hills! However I do adore her and we have some really wonderful times together and I would like to spend the rest of my years with her having fun and laughing like I know we can. I'm just so sad for her, it must be awful to feel like she's feeling (I don't think I ever felt as low as she demonstrates, during my own depression) and I feel helpless.

  2. #2
    Moderator of Awesomeness magie06's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Galway, Ireland
    The first place we would suggest you go is to your own gp. They will be able to help you and be able to advise where to go. Another place to go would be the Mind website. It has advice for partners of people who go through depression and it's a place to start.

    In the meantime, have a look around here, we are a friendly bunch and we don't bite! Hi and welcome to DWD.

  3. #3
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Jane Austen country
    Magie is right, your partner really needs to see her GP. The chances of her recovering without some form of treatment and/or support is slim. If she is really resistant, could you give her dr a letter explaining that you're worried about her?
    I believe if you wear enough pretty lipstick, sparkly jewellery and great shoes, no one will notice the size of your ass

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