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Thread: My Experience of Clinical Depression and recovery

  1. #1
    FJW1
    Guest

    My Experience of Clinical Depression and recovery

    My Story is published in the Surrey Mirror here: Link removed as per DWD rules

    Which could be interesting to look up from a press perspective of my story, however my personal thoughts and experience of clinical depression is that I've always wanted to find an effective solution for this persistent illness that was inexplicably not going away. Living with depression for me was like wearing a weighted vest, a life dampener, distorting your view of yourself, of other people, what you can achieve and the opportunities that you see, or don't see before you. For me, it put me in a great deal of mental pain, pain that would often have me rubbing my forehead in frustration, whilst trying to make a simple decision, such as what shirt to wear before work, whilst my thoughts felt concreted and stagnant along with an annoying inner voice telling me "what's the point in continuing on, what is this all for and why can't I just get out of this room with a shirt that I've chosen on without it feeling like a complex equation I'm trying to slowly work out" and why does everything seem so difficult and sad?" I always thought that I had broken an 'invisible leg', that I had sustained some form of psychological brain damage from certain traumatic events from my mid-teens and that I was walking on this broken leg to carry me through life going forward.

    As time moves on, perhaps we'll look at clinical depression in such a way, that the 'invisible broken leg' is simply a neural pathway in the brain that is not functioning correctly, evident under an MRI scanner. Perhaps we'll see it as not a poor choice of lifestyle, the sufferer's choice or a part of one's personality but simply requiring a 'cast' of stimulating and re-growing damaged areas of the brain, that TMS provides.

    For the 10 years since my symptoms of depression started, I set about trying to live a healthy, normal and happy life; I went to University, worked in the NHS for a mental health department for a year, I travelled, and worked in local government afterwards, had relationships and have many great friends and luckily, have a wonderful family. Always dismayed that the illness came back time and time again. I attempted conventional ways to try to heal myself: exercise, healthy eating, counselling and prescribed medication and many other cliché treatments that are given on a typical mental health information page. These gave me temporary relief from the painful and disruptive symptoms of the illness.

    The reality is, for possibly the next 10+ years, had I not had the TMS treatment it would have been 'pillar to post', going back to doctors and psychiatrists getting prescribed more and different medication without the problem really being addressed. I felt the solution was being postponed to an unknown future finishing line; in the meantime, wasting more NHS time/money, my time and my life. I also want to make it clear that the treatment is for depression but not necessarily at the most severe end of the spectrum. Finally, I wish I’d had the treatment soon after my depression started in order to have lived the past 10 years with the healthy brain I feel I have now.
    Last edited by Suzi; 20-03-17 at 11:56 AM. Reason: Link removed as per DWD rules

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Feb 2012
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    Hi and welcome. You're very local to me!
    Glad that it's helped you, but I've removed your link as we'd rather people get involved in the forum, rather than just post once with their links and then disappear - almost like spammers - as I'm sure you can agree...
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  3. #3
    FJW1
    Guest
    Hi Suzi,

    Thanks for the welcome, of course I can understand that, I've re-posted in the 'Home Straight' section because it would be more relevant there I feel. The link is just there to provide some background of my experience as my aim is to share it in the hope it can provide hope and awareness for others suffering the same thing I have.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to FJW1 For This Useful Post:

    Suzi (20-03-17)

  5. #4
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Feb 2012
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    Surrey. UK
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    Thanks for understanding
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  6. #5
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Sep 2012
    Location
    Hampshire
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    52,851
    Hi and welcome
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  7. #6
    FJW1
    Guest
    Hi Paula, thanks for the welcome

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