I'm supposed to be a carer for my mother but she doesn't want me anymore. For the last couple of weeks I've been battling with crippling pain and indescribable anxiety problems and it's been terrible. The only thing that's helped is playing games on my laptop which I've been trying and it's really been helping me to get out more and do things except my mother doesn't see it that way, she sees it as I haven't been pulling my weight around the house, because I haven't cleaned everything I'm a terrible daughter and I'm equal to her (equally untidy who raised me) mum. I try my best but sometimes I can't. The one thing me and my partner ask of her is to do the washing up, I cook and he does the recycling but she doesn't even do that. I'm allergic to meat (only got allergic a couple of years ago but it takes me out of action for like 4 days) but she stills leaves dog food containers with meat dripping out all over the place and doesn't bother to clean them up until it suits her.
Today she had an argument with me about this and how she'd "never seen me clean" when I'm the only one who cleans. Her idea of cleaning the bathroom was just cleaning the toilet. I'm beginning to think I may have alcohol issues but to her I'm an emotional blackmailer. I've cared and helped her for so long and I just keep getting called the terrible daughter. I can't keep going on like this and all I want to do right now is self harm which I haven't done for so long