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Thread: Jokes and one liners part deux

  1. #51
    Hero Member
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    Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
    Success is not final, Failure is not fatal.


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    OldMike (23-07-16)

  3. #52
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    I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!
    Success is not final, Failure is not fatal.


  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Pen For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (23-07-16)

  5. #53
    A man goes to the doctors with a sore bottom. The Doctor asks him to bend down so h can have a look. The man says: "Can you see anything doctor"? The doctor replies "Yes i can, you have a bit of lettuce stuck up your arse"
    The man is shocked and says:" What can you do to help me"? The doctor said: "I'm afraid its just the tip of the iceberg".

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (01-08-16)

  7. #54
    Chris Eubank has just written a book about Ethics.
    If it’s a success his next one will be about Kent.

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (01-08-16),S deleted (01-08-16)

  9. #55
    Gutted the wife has left me!
    She’s took the Sky Box and all my Bob Marley records too.
    No woman no Sky

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (01-08-16)

  11. #56
    Garry Glitter, Stuart hall and Rolf Harris walk into a bar in Ireland and the barman says.
    Not yew tree again!

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  12. #57
    How many Germans dose it take to change a light bulb?
    1. There very efficient, but not very funny.

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  13. #58
    I read in the news that someone in London gets stabbed 25 times every second. Poor guy.

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (01-08-16)

  15. #59
    I went to a really emotional wedding the other day.
    Even the cake was in tiers,

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to purplefan For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (01-08-16)

  17. #60
    A man goes to the doc and says, Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. Th doc said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' He asked. 'It's not unusual' the doc replied.

    They look at me and think I'm cool, I'm purplefan at night I rule.

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