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Thread: Jokes and one liners part deux

  1. #41
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

  2. #42
    Hero Member OldMike's Avatar
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    Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
    70 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

  3. #43
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Stella180 For This Useful Post:

    Paula (19-07-16),Pen (19-07-16)

  5. #44
    Hero Member OldMike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stella180 View Post
    Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
    70 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

  6. #45
    Hero Member OldMike's Avatar
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    I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.

    Call that a joke it totally sucks.
    70 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

  7. #46
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    Mohamed Ali was seated on the plane waiting for take off. The stewardess asked him to fasten his safety belt. Ali looked at the stewardess with a twinkle in his eye and said "Superman don't need no safety belt" "Sir" replied the stewardess,"Superman don`t need no plane"
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

  8. #47
    I was in the library the other day and i found a piece of cloth in a book. I though: "that's a turn up for the books"

    I see a woman in the nightWith a baby in her hand Under an old street light Near a garbage can. Now she puts the kid away,
    and she's gone to get a hit She hates her life,
    and what she's done to it. There's one more kid that will never go to school Never get to fall in love,
    never get to be cool.

  9. #48
    When i die, I want to go like my father, Peacefully in his sleep. Not like his passengers Screaming and shouting.

    I see a woman in the nightWith a baby in her hand Under an old street light Near a garbage can. Now she puts the kid away,
    and she's gone to get a hit She hates her life,
    and what she's done to it. There's one more kid that will never go to school Never get to fall in love,
    never get to be cool.

  10. #49
    "Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?"

    I see a woman in the nightWith a baby in her hand Under an old street light Near a garbage can. Now she puts the kid away,
    and she's gone to get a hit She hates her life,
    and what she's done to it. There's one more kid that will never go to school Never get to fall in love,
    never get to be cool.

  11. #50
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    A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
    I know my limits....I don't pay attention to them, but I know them!


  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Pen For This Useful Post:

    Elless (25-07-16)

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