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Thread: Jokes and one liners part deux

  1. #41
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
    When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land I nearly fell off my unicorn

  2. #42
    Moderator OldMike's Avatar
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    Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
    71 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

  3. #43
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
    When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land I nearly fell off my unicorn

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Stella180 For This Useful Post:

    Paula (19-07-16),Pen (19-07-16)

  5. #44
    Moderator OldMike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stella180 View Post
    Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
    71 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

  6. #45
    Moderator OldMike's Avatar
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    I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.

    Call that a joke it totally sucks.
    71 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

  7. #46
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    Mohamed Ali was seated on the plane waiting for take off. The stewardess asked him to fasten his safety belt. Ali looked at the stewardess with a twinkle in his eye and said "Superman don't need no safety belt" "Sir" replied the stewardess,"Superman don`t need no plane"
    When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land I nearly fell off my unicorn

  8. #47
    I was in the library the other day and i found a piece of cloth in a book. I though: "that's a turn up for the books"

    "Jaws was never my scene and I don't like star wars".

  9. #48
    When i die, I want to go like my father, Peacefully in his sleep. Not like his passengers Screaming and shouting.

    "Jaws was never my scene and I don't like star wars".

  10. #49
    "Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?"

    "Jaws was never my scene and I don't like star wars".

  11. #50
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    A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
    Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative!

    http://carantoc-art.com

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Pen For This Useful Post:

    Elless (25-07-16)

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