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Thread: Jokes and one liners part deux

  1. #21
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    There's another supermarket opening just down the road from Tesco, I'm glad because as Tesco say: 'Every Lidl Helps'

    That Asda be an old joke, but I like it

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  3. #22
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    Got myself a new thesaurus earlier today, but it's awful, I can't even find the words to describe it.

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  5. #23
    Junior Member Elless's Avatar
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    .... but I don't have an 'any key' on my computer
    IT'S GOOD TO TALK

  6. #24
    Junior Member Elless's Avatar
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    The family that sticks together should bathe more often.
    IT'S GOOD TO TALK

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  8. #25
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    Not really a joke or one-liner, but a mix of humorous and frustrating. The word 'Brexit' has been going on so damned continuously that it's stuck in one of the many vacant spaces in my brain and I spent several minutes this morning trying to log into DWD with username 'Brexit' instead of 'bereft' very silly but unfortunately very true.

  9. #26
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

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  11. #27
    SuperWoman Stella180's Avatar
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    I just managed to burn 1000 colories. I forgot about the pizza in the oven.
    ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.'
    J. M. Barrie

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  13. #28
    Hero Member OldMike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stella180 View Post
    My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
    I'm one the generation who will forever think of the Lone Ranger when hearing Rossini's William Tell overture.
    70 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

  14. #29
    Have you lot tried the new whisky diet? My friend did and lost 3 weeks.

    A popsicle stick makes a great bookmark. But eat the popsicle first. Don't make the same mistake I did.

  15. #30
    A l girl goes to see her doctor and the doctor is examining her and the doctor says: "big Breaths now" and the girl said: YETH i know i am only Thithteen.

    A popsicle stick makes a great bookmark. But eat the popsicle first. Don't make the same mistake I did.

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